“Would you like to hear the world’s best Aggie joke?” (Aggie joke)
“A guy walks into a bar…” is a typical form of what has been called the “bar joke.” Aggie jokes became popular in the 1960s. The two joke forms converged on one popular joke.
A man walks into a bar (or saloon) and tells the bartender, “Would you like to hear the world’s best Aggie joke?”
The bartender tells the man about five big men at his bar who are all current or former Aggies. “Do you still want to tell that Aggie joke/” the bartender asks. “Well, no, not if I have to explain it five times,” the man replies.
The joke was told as both an Aggie joke and a Danish joke in 1989. Among the many other versions are a Polish joke, a redneck joke and an accountant joke. One popular version with a blind man telling a blonde joke has been cited in print since at least 2000.
Google Books
Texas Wit & Wisdom
By Wallace O. Chariton
Plano, TX: Wordware Pub.
1989
Pg. 161:
However, everyone seems to have his or her favorite Aggie joke. Here’s my nomination for the second best Aggie joke of all time:
A man went into a saloon and asked the bartender if he’d like to hear the world’s best Aggie joke. The bartender wasn’t amused.
“Before you start tellin’ Aggie jokes in this bar,” he said, “you better know that the deputy sheriff sitting over in the corner is a former Aggie. You should know that the 300-pound professional wrestler sitting with the sheriff is an Aggie.”
The bartender motioned to another corner and continued, “You see those two big old boys over there, they were linebackers for the Aggie football team a few years back” The bartender then produced a shotgun and laid it on the bar. He concluded, “As for me, I graduated from A&M ten years ago. Now, mister, do you still want to tell an Aggie joke?”
The man thought about it for a moment then said, “No, I think I’ll pass. I don’t have time to explain it five times!’
Google News Archive
19 January 1989, Milwaukee (WI) Journal, “Man in bar says joke wasn’t worth telling” by Alex Thien, pt. 3, pg. 1, col. 4:
A man entered a bar and after a drink or two told the bartender that he was going to tell a joke about Danes.
“Do you see those two muscular men at the end of the bar? They’re Danish weight lifters. Do you still want to tell a Danish joke?” the bartender said.
The man said he did.
“See thsoe two men in black leather jackets at the other end of the bar?” the bartender said. “They’re members of the meanest motorcycle gang in the world and they’re Danes. Do you still want to tell your joke?”
“I sure do,” the man said.
“I’m also Danish,” the bartender said, looking the man in the eye through narrow slits. “Do you still want to tell a Danish joke in here?”
The man thought about it.
“I guess not,” he said, “not if I’m going to have to explain it five times.”
Google Books
28 March 1994, InfoWorld, “Down to the Wire” by Nicholas Petreley and Laura Wonnacott, pg. 66, col. 1:
A fellow goes into a bar and says to the bartender, “Hey, I just heard this great E-mail gateway programmer joke.” The bartender replies indignantly, “Now, wait a minute. I used to be a gateway programmer. See that guy at the end of the bar? The guy at the other end? Those tow guys at the table over there? They all are gateway programmers. Now, do you still want to tell that joke?” And the fellow says, “Well, not if I have to explain it five times.”
A Prairie Home Companion - Jokes 1999
March 23, 1999
Guy walks into a bar and says, “I just heard a great redneck joke!”
HUGE guy stands up off a barstool and says, “Just a minute, buddy. Before you tell that joke, I’m Jake. I’m six-three and weigh two-eighty, all muscle. And I’m a redneck. That guy over there is a professional wrestler, and HE’s a redneck. And the guy behind the bar has a pistol next to the cash register and HE’s a redneck, too. Now, you really want to tell that joke?”
And the fellow thinks and says, “Nah. I don’t want to have to explain it three different times.”
Brad Strickland, Oakwood, GA
28 January 2000, Augusta (GA) Chronicle, Bill Kirby column, pg. 1B, col. 1:
TODAY’S JOKE: A sightless man walked into a bar, found a stool, and said in a loud, convivial voice, “Anybody want to hear a blonde joke?”
The bar suddenly became quiet. In a hushed voice, the man beside him said, “Look, buddy, before you tell that joke you should know something.
“Our bartender here is blond, the bouncer is blond, I’m a karate black belt, and I’m blond. THe guy sitting nex to me is a blond rugby player. The fella to your right is pushing 300 pounds, and he’s a blond wrestler.
“Now, mister, do you still want to tell that joke?”
“Nah,” said the sightless man getting up to leave, “not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”
Chartered Accountant Magazine (April 2000)
A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, “Want to hear an accountant joke?”
The guy next to him replies, “Well, before you tell that joke,you should know that I’m 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, and I’m an accountant. And the guy sitting next to me is 6’2’ tall, 225 pounds, and he’s an accountant too. Now, do you still want to tell that joke?”
The first guy says, “No, I don’t want to have to explain the same joke twice.”
Google Books
A Guy Walks Into A Bar…:
501 Bar Jokes, Stories, Anecdotes, Quips, Quotes, Riddles and Wisecracks
By Michael Lewis
New York, NY: Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, Inc.
2005
Pg. 166:
A blind man walks into a bar, taps a guy on the shoulder, and says, Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke? The guy replies, Look buddy, I think I should clue you in. I have blond hair. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he s blond. The bouncer is blond. The man sitting over to your left is also blond. Still wanna tell that blond joke? The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, Nah, I wouldn’t want to have to explain it five times.
Civilization Fanatics’ Forums
A Blind Man Walks Into A Bar…
WickedSmurf
Jan 26, 2005, 06:09 AM
A blind man enters a lesbian bar by mistake. He manages to sit himself down on a barstool and orders a drink. After having been sitting there for a while he says with a loud voice to the bartender: -Want to hear a blonde joke? The bar gets quite as the grave in an instant. With a dark and husky voice the woman next to him says: -Before you tell that joke I’d like to inform you on some things. The bartender is blonde, the waitress is blond, I am 2 meters tall, weighing 107 kg, I’m blonde and have a black belt in karate. The woman next to me is also blonde and a weightlifter. The woman to your right is a blonde professional boxer so please think twice about telling the joke. Do you still want to tell it?
After considering this, the blind man says: -Nah, not if I’ll have to tell it five times.