“Wish in one hand, shit in the other”

Entry in progress—B.P.
 
Google Books
Return of the Tall Man
By Clay Fisher
New York, NY: Bantam Books
1961
Pg. 126:
”*Wish in one hand, urinate in the other — see which fills up first.’”
   
Urban Dictionary
Wish in one hand, shit in the other.
“Wish in one hand, shit in the other. See which one gets filled first.” When a person wants the impossible.
Joe: We need world peace. Can’t we just all get along?
Tom: Well Joe, Wish in one hand, shit in the other.
by ebensteben Apr 27, 2008
 
Google Books
The Dictionary of Modern Proverbs
Edited by Charles Clay Doyle, Wolfgang Mieder and Fred R. Shapiro
New Haven, CT: Yale University Press
2012
Pg. 115:
Shit (Pee, Spit) in one hand and hope (wish) in the other; see which fills up first.