Wisconsin: “When it’s springtime in Wisconsin…” (funny winter poem)

A funny winter poem has been said about several cold places, such as Wisconsin and Ohio. Authorship is unknown.
 
The Wisconsin version was printed in the Boscobel (WI) Dial on April 11,  1996:
 
“When it’s springtime in Wisconsin and the gentle breezes blow,
About 70 miles an hour and it’s 52 below,
You can tell you’re in WIsconsin ‘cause the snow’s up to your butt,
And you take a breath of springtime air and your nose holes both freeze shut,
The weather here is wonderful so I guess I’ll hang around,
I could never leave Wisconsin, my feet are frozen to the ground.”
 
The Ohio version was posted on the newsgroup alt.support.lupus on Febuary 9, 2004:
 
“It’s winter in OHIO, and the gentle breezes blow,
70 miles per hour and 52 below!
Oh how I love OHIO, when the snow’s up to your butt,
you take a breath of winter air, and your nose it freezes shut.
Yes the weather here is wonderful, so I guess I’ll stick around,
but I could never leave OHIO cause I’m frozen to the ground.”
 
 
Newspapers.com
11 April 1996, Boscobel (WI) Dial,“Under the Bridge” by Ralph Goldsmith,  pg. 1, col. 1:
Our daughter Arlet bough us a poem that pretty well expresses how they feel about Wisconsin’s winter in that north country.
 
When it’s springtime in Wisconsin and the gentle breezes blow,
About 70 miles an hour and it’s 52 below,
You can tell you’re in WIsconsin ‘cause the snow’s up to your butt,
And you take a breath of springtime air and your nose holes both freeze shut,
The weather here is wonderful so I guess I’ll hang around,
I could never leave Wisconsin, my feet are frozen to the ground.
 
Newspapers.com
15 August 1996, Lake Geneva (WI) Regional News, “Chattebox,” pg. 4, col. 6:
And from Glenda Hill, 521 N. WIsconsin Street, Genoa CIty, comes the following untitled (we’ll call it Spring) poem which a friend in Rhinelander sent to her:
 
Spring
When it’s springtime in Wisconsin
and the gentle breezes blow,
about 70 miles an hour
and it’s 52 below,
you can tell you’re in WIsconsin
‘cause the snow’s up to your butt
and you take a breath
of springtime air
and your nose holes
both freeze shut.
The weather here is wonderful,
so I guess I’ll hang around.
I could never leave Wisconsin
my feet are frozen to the ground!
 
Google Groups: alt.support.arthritis   
OTP: A poem for Mama Char
Ifish2b
Jan 9, 2001, 9:24:58 PM
That’s great Paul. I’m sure was her feet become unstuck so she can get to her computer, she’ll love it.
>When it’s Christmas time in Iowa,
>and the gentle breezes blow
>about seventy miles an hour
>and it’s fifty-two below,
>You can tell you’re in Iowa
>‘cause the snow’s up to your butt,
>and you take a breath of Christmas air
>and your nose holes both freeze shut.
>The weather here is wonderful,
>So I guess I’ll hang around.
>I could NEVER leave Iowa.
>My feet are frozen to the ground.
 
Google Groups: rec.crafts.scrapbooks
For those living in Saskatchewan
Kellar
Jan 8, 2004, 7:52:38 PM
Springtime in Saskatchewan
 
When it’s springtime in Saskatchewan
And the gentle breezes blow,
About seventy miles an hour
And it’s fifty-two below.
You can tell you’re in Saskatchewan
‘cause the snow’s up to your butt
And you take a breath of springtime air
And your noseholes both freeze shut.
The weather here is wonderful,
So I guess I’ll hang around,
I could never leave Saskatchewan
My feet are frozen to the ground.
 
(Author unknown)
 
Google Groups: alt.support.lupus
OT funny
Candi Bowen
Feb 9, 2004, 11:43:47 AM
It’s winter in OHIO, and the gentle breezes blow, 70 miles per hour and 52
below! Oh how I love OHIO, when the snow’s up to your butt, you take a
breath
of winter air, and your nose it freezes shut. Yes the weather here is
wonderful, so I guess I’ll stick around, but I could never leave OHIO
cause I’m frozen to the ground.
 
Google Groups: alt.smokers.pipes
Pipe smoken weather !!!   
Cheryl
Jan 27, 2004, 1:08:00 AM
(...)
It’s winter in Michigan
And the gentle breezes blow,
70 miles per hour at 52 below!
 
Oh, how I love Michigan
When the snow’s up to your butt.
You take a breath of winter air
And your nose, it freezes shut.
 
Yes, the weather here is wonderful,
So I guess I’ll hang around.
But I could never leave Michigan
‘Cause I’m frozen to the ground!!!
 
—- author unknown
 
Newspapers.com
10 December 2005, Times & Transcript (Moncton, NB), “Focus on the funny side of ourselves” by Edith Robb, pg. D11, col. 1:
“It’s winter in New Brunswick
rAnd the gentle breezes blow,
Ninety kilometres an hour,
At thirty-five below.
Oh, how I love New Brunswick
When the snow’s up to your butt.
You take a breath of winter air
And your nose, it freezes shut.
Yes, the weather here is wonderful,
So I guess I’ll hang around.
I could never leave New Brunswick
‘Cause I’m frozen to the ground.”
 
This fun little ditty submitted by Jennifer Mawhinney of Fredericton was one of the first to arrive after this year’s call for Maritime humour, the first signal that the annual HubCap Comedy Festival must be in the works again.
     
Facebook
Jewel Ed Cavinee
January 17, 2009 at 9:28 PM ·
It’s winter in Ohio.
And the gentle breezes blow,
Seventy miles an hour,
At twenty-five below.
Oh, how I love Ohio,
When the snow’s up to your butt,
You take a breath of winter,
And your nose gets frozen shut.
Yes, the weather here is wonderful ,
So I guess I’ll hang around,
I could never leave Ohio,
‘Cause I’m frozen to the ground!!
 
Facebook
Mary Block Koerner
May 9, 2010 at 10:56 AM ·
When it’s springtime in Wisconsin, and the gentle breezes blow, about seventy miles an hour and it’s fifty-two below…  You can tell you’re in Wisconsin ‘cause the snow’s up to your butt, and you take a breath of springtime air and your nose holes both freeze shut.  The weather here is wonderful so I guess I’ll hang around.  I could never leave Wisconsin, my feet are frozen to the ground.
   
Facebook
Leek Pipe Organ Company is in Cleveland, OH.
January 10, 2014 at 6:30 PM ·
An Ohio Poem (heard on Q92)
It’s winter in Ohio,
And the gentle breezes blow,
Seventy miles an hour,
At thirty-five below.
Oh, how I love Ohio,
When the snow’s up to your butt,
You take a breath of winter air,
And your nose gets frozen shut.
Yes, the weather here is wonderful,
So I guess I’ll hang around,
I could never leave Ohio
“Because I’m frozen to the ground!”
 
X/Twitter
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@legacy_brandco
It’s winter in Alberta,
And the gentle breezes blow
Seventy miles an hour
At thirty-five below
 
Yes, the weather here is wonderful
so I guess I’ll hang around
I could never leave Alberta
Cause I’m frozen to the ground
~
Want to get through the cold spell?
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3:22 PM · Nov 30, 2022
 
X/Twitter
Follow @JodyField
@JodyField
It’s winter in Ohio,
And the gentle breezes blow,
Seventy miles an hour,
At thirty-five below.
 
Yes, the weather here is wonderful,
So I guess I’ll hang around,
I could never leave Ohio
“Because I’m frozen to the ground!”
7:22 AM · Dec 24, 2022
 
X/Twitter
Allan
@allanjohnsonmn1
It’s winter in Minnesota,
And the gentle breezes blow.
At twenty below.
Oh, how I love Minnesota,
You take a breath of winter air,
And your nose freezes shut.
Yes, winter here is wonderful.
I guess I’ll hang around.
I could never leave Minnesota
Because I’m frozen to the ground.
1:33 PM · Jan 30, 2023