“Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?” (lawyer joke)

A lawyer joke is:
     
Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they can rarely be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
   
The joke was printed in the St. Louis (MO) Post-Dispatch on October 25, 1992.
   
       
Newspapers.com
25 October 1992, St. Louis (MO) Post-Dispatch, “There Ought To Be A Law” by Elaine Viets, magazine sec., pg. 5, col. 1:
Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one.
When launched, they can rarely be recalled.
They screw up everything forever.
     
Google Books
A Pocket Tour of Law on the Internet
By Michael Gross
San Francisco, CA: Sybex
1995
Pg. ?:
Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched during a campaign, they can rarely be recalled. And when they land, they screw up everything forever.
 
Google Groups: rec.humor
Many Lawyer Jokes.
Maximilian McGahon
May 17, 1997, 3:00:00 AM
(...)
> Q. Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
> A. If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, They
> cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
       
Newspapers.com
1 October 1997, Orlando (FL) Sentinel, “Pity the children—some may become layers one day” by Ramsey Campbell, The Lake Sentinel, pg. 4, col. 5:
Q. Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
A. If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
 
Twitter
lawhumor
@lawhumor
Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?  Once they land, they prevent anything from functioning for the next hundred years.
2:36 PM · Jun 5, 2009·Twitter Web Client
   
Twitter
Help-U-File
@SactoFamilyLaw
Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?  If one side has one, the other side has to get one.
5:59 PM · Aug 21, 2009·Twitter Web Client
   
Google Books
The World’s Funniest Lawyer Jokes:
A Caseload of Jurisprudential Jest
By Steven D. Price
New York, NY: Skyhorse Publishing
2011
Pg. ?:
Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they can rarely be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
 
Twitter
Bob Kostic
@causticbob
Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
2:58 PM · Mar 7, 2021·Twitter Web App