“When my wife sends me to the supermarket to get cucumbers…” (NSFW joke)
A joke about buying cucumbers suggests that it’s better to identify one’s sexual practice than to possibly imply that one is a vegan.
“When my girlfriend sends me to the supermarket to get cucumbers I also buy vaseline so the cashier doesn’t thÍnk I’m a vegan” was posted on Twitter by VALDEZ on July 28 2015. “@SamuelHLowe:When my girlfriend sends me to the supermarket to get cucumbers I also buy Vaseline so the cashier doesn’t think I’m a vegan” was posted on Twitter by Mister Sinister ♦️ on July 29, 2015. It’s probable that @SamuelHLowe created the joke, but this account no longer exists on Twitter.
“When my wife sends me to the supermarket to get cucumbers, I also buy Vaseline so the cashier doesn’t think that I’m a vegan” was posted on Reddit—Jokes on September 10, 2019.
“Me bringing a jar of Vaseline to the cash register when mom sends me to buy a cucumber so that no one thinks I’m a vegan” was posted on Instagram by literallyeverymeme on August 23, 2022.
Twitter
VALDEZ
@TAMMINYAH
When my girlfriend sends me to the supermarket to get cucumbers I also buy vaseline so the cashier doesn’t thÍnk I’m a vegan.
6:39 PM · Jul 28, 2015·Twitter for BlackBerry®
Twitter
Mister Sinister ♦️
@JEREMIAH__O
”@SamuelHLowe:When my girlfriend sends me to the supermarket to get cucumbers I also buy Vaseline so the cashier doesn’t think I’m a vegan.”
12:51 PM · Jul 29, 2015·Twitter for BlackBerry®
Twitter
Daniel Ada
@DanielAda1960
When my girlfriend sends me to the supermarket to get cucumbers I also buy Vaseline so the cashier doesn’t think I’m a vegan.
9:54 PM · Jul 31, 2015·Facebook
Twitter
Will
@Will_vorine
Whenever I go to the supermarket to get cucumbers I also buy Vaseline so the cashier doesn’t think I’m a vegan.
2:22 PM · Apr 9, 2017·Twitter for Android
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/Next_Hammer September 10 2019
When my wife sends me to the supermarket to get cucumbers
I also buy Vaseline so the cashier doesnt think that im a vegan
Twitter
keth lunch
@KeefLynch
When my wife sends me to the grocery store to get cucumbers, I always buy some Vaseline just so the cashier doesn’t think that I’m a vegan.
3:02 PM · Oct 19, 2019·Twitter for iPhone
Twitter
Ron
@upminster13
When my wife sends me to the supermarket to get cucumbers
I also buy Vaseline so the cashier doesn’t think that i’m a vegan
2:40 AM · Dec 10, 2019·Twitter Web App
Twitter
Stephen Knight, Author
@SSKAuthor
When the boyfriend sends me to the supermarket to buy a cucumber, I also pick up lube so the cashier doesn’t think that I’m a vegan.
5:16 PM · Dec 20, 2019 from Plymouth, England·Twitter for iPhone
Twitter
🇨🇦Romeo🇮🇹
@ComedyRomeo
When my girlfriend sends me to the supermarket to get cucumbers I also buy vaseline so the cashier doesn’t think that I’m a vegan.
8:48 AM · Mar 9, 2020·Twitter for Android
Twitter
Bianca van Wyk
@BiancavanWyk16
I’m so upset 😭 I was called a Soy Wench’ by a White Right Poppet on this app. As a dedicated meatlover, I’ll have you know, if I go shopping and have to only buy carrots 🥕 and cucumbers 🥒 I buy lubricant so that the cashier doesn’t think I’m a vegan. People gossip you know 😉
4:30 AM · Jun 3, 2020·Twitter for iPhone
Twitter
NIGGAVERSE🏴☠️📝
@neggaverse
When my wife sends me the supermarket to get cucumbers I also buy Vaseline so that the cashier doesn’t think I’m a vegan.
11:19 AM · Apr 13, 2022·TweetDeck
Instagram
literallyeverymeme
August 23, 2022
(“Me bringing a jar of Vaseline to the cash register when mom sends me to buy a cucumber so that no one thinks I’m a vegan” is shown on an image.—ed.)
Twitter
Bob Kostic
@causticbob
When my wife sends me to the supermarket to get cucumbers I also buy Vaseline so the cashier doesn’t think that I’m a vegan.
5:18 PM · Aug 24, 2022·Twitter Web App
Twitter
Rothmus 🏴
@Rothmus
(“Me bringing a jar of Vaseline to the cash register when mom sends me to buy a cucumber so that no one thinks I’m a vegan” is shown on an image.—ed.)
7:15 PM · Aug 25, 2022·Tweet From Twetch