“When a diplomat says yes, he means perhaps…”
A popular joke involves a lady and a diplomat. The lady can’t say “yes” and the diplomat can’t say “no.” The joke is from the Berliner Tageblatt and has been cited in English print since at least 1913.
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15 May 1913, The Independent, pg. 1098, col. 2:
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A LADY AND A DIPLOMAT.
When a diplomat says “yes,” he means “perhaps.”
When a diplomat says “perhaps,” he means “no.”
And when a diplomat says “no,” he is no diplomat.
When a lady says “no,” she means “perhaps.”
When a lady says “perhaps,” she means “yes.”
And when a lady says “yes,” she is no lady.
—Berliner Tageblatt.
5 September 1913, Daily People (New York, NY), pg. 3, col. 2:
The Lady and the Diplomat.
When a diplomat says “yes,” he means “perhaps.”
“When a diplomat says “perhaps,” he means “no,” and when a diplomat says “no,” he is no diplomat.
When a lady says “no,” she means “perhaps.”
When a lady says “perhaps,” she means “yes;” and when a lady says “yes,” she is no lady.—Berlin Tageblatt.
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The Best Stories in the World
Compiled and edited by Thomas Lansing Masson
Garden City, NY: Doubleday, Page & Company
1914
Pg. 92:
A CONUNDRUM
WHAT is the difference between a diplomat and a lady?
The following has been suggested as a proper solution of this interesting conundrum.
When a diplomat says yes, he means perhaps; when he says perhaps, he means no; when he says no, he is no diplomat.
When a lady says no, she means perhaps; when she says perhaps, she means yes; when she says yes, she is no lady.
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America’s Aims and Asia’s Aspirations
By Patrick Gallagher
New York, NY: The Century Company
1920
Pg. 58:
Most people know the story about the diplomat and the lady. When a lady says “No,” she means “Perhaps”; when she says “Perhaps,” she means “Yes”; if she says “Yes,” she’s no lady. When a diplomat says “Yes,” he means “Perhaps”; if he says “Perhaps,” he means “No”; if he says “No,” he ‘s no diplomat. Mr. Balfour avoids using the word “No.”
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10 April 1920, The Independent (UK), “A Long Way from Earth” by Harold Howland, pg. 48, col. 2:
It is like the old aphorism about the difference between a diplomat and a lady. “When a diplomat says ‘yes’ he means ‘perhaps,’ when he says ‘perhaps’ he means ‘no,’ if he says ‘no’ he is no diplomat. But when a lady says ‘no’ she means ‘perhaps,’ when she says ‘perhaps’ she means ‘yes,’ if she says ‘yes’ she is no lady.”
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24 October 1953, Kentucky New Era (Hopkinsville, KY), “Looking At Life” by Erich Brandeis, pg. 5, col. 4:
It reminds me of an old saying, “when a diplomat says yes, he means perhaps; when he says perhaps, he means no; when he says no, he is no diplomat.”
Google News Archive
19 July 1955, Florence (AL) Times, “Shirtsleeve Diplomacy,” pg. 4, col. 1:
Once diplomacy was regarded as a skilled game played by crafty but polite gentlemen on a diplomatic chessboard. As an old proverb puts it, “if a diplomat says YES he means PERHAPS, when he says PERHAPS he means NO, but it is not becoming to a diplomat to say NO.”
Google News Archive
21 January 1957, St. Petersburg (FL) Times, “Diplomatic Double Talk Puzzling to Most of Us” by Donald J. Gonzales (UP), pg. 10, col. 3:
To sum it up, one diplomatist said he once heard something like this: “When a diplomat says yes he means perhaps; when he says perhaps he means no; when he says no he is no diplomat.”
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15 July 1960, Lakeland (FL) Ledger, “Today’s Chuckle,” pg. 1, col. 4:
When a diplomat says yes he means perhaps, when he says perhaps he means no, and when he says no he is no diplomat.
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Oxford Dictionary of Quotations by Subject
Edited by Susan Ratcliffe
New York, NY: Oxford University Press
2010
Pg. 307:
If a lady says No, she means Perhaps; if she says Perhaps, she means Yes; if she says Yes, she is no Lady.
If a diplomat says Yes, he means Perhaps; if he says Perhaps, he means No; if he says No, he is no Diplomat.
Lord Dawson of Penn 1864–1945 British physician; Francis Watson Dawson of Penn (1950)
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When a politician says yes, he means perhaps; when he says perhaps, he means no; and when he says no, he is no politician. - Joe Moore
7:35 PM - 7 Nov 2014