“What’s the world’s fastest cake?”/“All cakes have a constant velocity of 0 mph.”

“Scone” sounds like “‘s gone” (“it’s gone”) in the UK. A popular joke is:
 
Q: What’s the world’s fastest cake?
A: Scone!
 
The riddle has been cited on the newsgroup alt.tv.x-files  on March 13, 2000. “JOKE: What is the world’s fastest cake? A: All cakes have a constant velocity of 0 mph, so no one cake is overall ‘fastest’” is an anti-joke that was posted on X/Twitter by Mr Wowser on December 2, 2010.
 
“Why is milk so fast?”/“Because it’s pasteurized before you see it” is a related joke.
 
 
Wikipedia: Scone
A scone (/skɒn/ SKON or /skoʊn/ SKOHN) is a traditional British baked good, popular in the United Kingdom and Ireland. It is usually made of either wheat flour or oatmeal, with baking powder as a leavening agent, and baked on sheet pans. A scone is often slightly sweetened and occasionally glazed with egg wash.The scone is a basic component of the cream tea. It differs from teacakes and other types of sweets that are made with yeast.
   
Google Groups: alt.tv.x-files 
OT: A Little Excitement
.(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
Mar 13, 2000, 3:00:00 AM
What’s the world’s fastest cake?
Scone!
 
Google Groups: alt.life.universe.everything
World’s fastest cake
Tony Kelly
Jun 25, 2000, 3:00:00 AM
Scone
 
X/Twitter
Mrs_Moons
@Mrs_Moons
@Labeet - Scone is pronounced to rhyme with none. Hence my favourite joke. What’s the world’s fastest cake?........Scone!
11:46 AM · Apr 3, 2009
   
X/Twitter
liz lemsip
@rachmysterio
What’s the world’s fastest cake?...
‘Scone. #dadjoke
11:02 PM · Oct 26, 2009
   
X/Twitter
Graham Pugh
@TrumptonFireman
#sconewars There’s only one way to pronounce it. Or else the joke “What’s the world’s fastest cake?” won’t work.
9:55 AM · Apr 26, 2010
 
X/Twitter
Mr Wowser
@wowser
JOKE: What is the world’s fastest cake? A: All cakes have a constant velocity of 0 mph, so no one cake is overall “fastest”.
11:52 AM · Dec 2, 2010
 
X/Twitter
J E S S
@fckjxss
Whats the world’s fastest cake?
A scone. Because its gone
HHAHAHAHSHSHAHAHAHAHSAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH PAHAHA
11:10 AM · Nov 27, 2014 from Woodham, South East
 
X/Twitter
Rambling Pitchfork
@rampitchfork
@DouglasDaniel @Gove2016 the joke about the world’s fastest cake only works with the right pronunciation: look s’gone.
1:59 PM · Jul 1, 2016
 
X/Twitter
Puns AndOneliners
@punsandoneliner
What’s the world’s fastest cake? Scooone…
http://markhaggan.com/randomness/cake-jokes/ http://markhaggan.com/randomness/cake-jokes/
4:00 PM · Mar 31, 2018
   
Reddit—Dadjokes
ggd_x—September 30, 2020
What’s the world’s fastest cake?
Scone
 
X/Twitter
stuart lodge
@LodgeGdfun
Scone as in ‘gone’ or joke about the world’s fastest cake (‘S’gone!) doesn’t work
1:44 PM · Oct 4, 2021
 
LaffGaff
Fastest Cake
January 5, 2025 by LaffGaff
What’s the world’s fastest cake?
Scooone…