“What do you call the first meal of the day at a nursing home?”/“Incontinental breakfast.”
A “continental breakfast” is a light breakfast (such as juice, cereal and pastries) that’s often served in a hotel. There is no such thing as an “incontinental breakfast” (incontinent + continental breakfast), but there are jokes.
“Do urologists review their journal articles with peeer groups? Yes, over an occasional incontinental breakfast” was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on May 28, 2003. “Oops, turns out they meant incontinental breakfast (bran, prune juice, dried fruit). Anti-diarrhea medication: $17.53” was printed in the Times-Colonist (Victoria, BC) on July 4, 2004. “If it makes you sick, is it the incontinental breakfast?” was printed in the National Post (Don Mills, ON) on July 19, 2004.
“If a hotel offers bran muffins and prune juice, is that an incontinental breakfast?” was printed in Here (Moncton, NB) on February 26, 2009. “Stayed at a hotel once, the meal in the morning had prunes, bran flakes, and complimentary diapers. It was an incontinental breakfast” was posted on Twitter by Kevin Matthews on November 7, 2013. “A bran muffin and a glass of prune juice is an incontinental breakfast” was posted on Twitter by ann on September 17, 2014.
“Had a dream I was in a nursing home and all they had on offer was an incontinental breakfast” was posted on Twitter by Jack Cassidy on April 23, 2009. “The morning meal at the nursing home, is that incontinental breakfast?” was posted on Twitter by 온조엘 on February 4, 2011. “Nursing homes serve incontinental breakfast #pun” was posted on Twitter by Camilly Vanilly on July 7, 2015. “What do you call the first meal of the day at a nursing home? Incontinental breakfast” was posted on Twitter by Branch Manager Probs on July 15, 2015.
“you can make any continental breakfast into an incontinental breakfast by pissing in everyone’s cheerios” was posted on Twitter by POOPSCRUFFIN4U on May 9, 2019. “Piss in someone’s Cheerios” is a slang expression meaning to disappoint or irritate someone.
“Continental breakfast implies the existence of Incontinental breakfast.” was posted on Twitter by “to dismember or not to dismember” on December 29, 2019.
“What would be sold at an inconvenience store?”/“Incontinental breakfast” was posted on Twitter by The Doctor on December 3, 2020.
“What do you call a hotel breakfast that gives you diarrhea? Incontinental” was posted on Reddit—Dadjokes on October 21, 2021.
Wiktionary: continental breakfast
Etymology
Named due to its popularity in continental Europe.
Noun
continental breakfast (plural continental breakfasts)
1. A light breakfast, often as served in a hotel, usually consisting of cereal, juice, and pastries, but without any fried items.
Wiktionary: incontinent
Adjective
incontinent (comparative more incontinent, superlative most incontinent)
1. (often followed by of) Unable to contain or retain.
2. Plagued by incontinence; unable to retain natural discharges or evacuations of urine or feces.
Google Groups: alt.humor.puns
Urine a medical journal
ynotssor
May 28, 2003, 5:12:46 AM
“Wee Pun of Mass Distraction”
wrote in message
news:7d3454a8.03052…@posting.google.com
> Do urologists review their journal articles with peeer groups?
Yes, over an occasional incontinental breakfast ...
4 July 2004, Times-Colonist (Victoria, BC), “Summer road trip from Hell” by Jack Knox, pg. C1:
Oops, turns out they meant incontinental breakfast (bran, prune juice, dried fruit). Anti-diarrhea medication: $17.53.
19 July 2004, National Post (Don Mills, ON), “Family survives U.S. shopping trip” by Rob McKenzie, pg. A2:
Well, I finally figured out which continent they’re talking about in “continental breakfast,” and judging by the frosted mini-donuts, cinnamon rolls and Cheerios, that continent would just have to be the North American continent. (Side note: If it makes you sick, is it the incontinental breakfast?)
26 February 2009, Here (Moncton, NB), “Think he can do it?; John Mazerolle asks. . .well a lot,” pg. A6:
If a hotel offers bran muffins and prune juice, is that an incontinental breakfast?
Twitter
Andrew Smith
@ashrewdmint
OH: “This coffee tastes like Ex-Lax!” “Oh, I’m sorry… you got the INcontinental breakfast…”
7:37 PM · Mar 5, 2009·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
Jack Cassidy
@AskJackCassidy
Had a dream I was in a nursing home and all they had on offer was an incontinental breakfast. Oops, I did it again!
10:38 AM · Apr 23, 2009·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
온조엘
@PaiaSynth
The morning meal at the nursing home, is that incontinental breakfast?
4:50 PM · Feb 4, 2011·Twitter SMS
Twitter
Rachel Lichtman
@rachelichtman
TRAVEL TIP: Don’t eat something called the “Incontinental Breakfast”.
2:36 AM · May 14, 2011·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
Reverend Doctor Senator Brandon Schatz
@soupytoasterson
The Shady Pines Retirement Emporium features a daily Incontinental Breakfast.
10:50 AM · Sep 14, 2011·TweetDeck
Twitter
David Hammons
@TheBeanStraw
Staying at a hotel where a bladder support group is meeting. They serve an incontinental breakfast with extra long, absorbent bibs. #funny
5:36 PM · Mar 2, 2012·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
Not Unvaxed Steve
@notsmoothsteve
Q: what do they call the day’s first meal at the old folks’ home? A: incontinental breakfast
8:25 AM · May 19, 2012·Twitter for BlackBerry®
Twitter
Teowulf
@Teowulf
In nursing homes, they serve incontinental breakfast.
12:25 PM · Jul 3, 2013·Favstar.FM
Twitter
Clifford Reynolds
@Crey_no
I’ve invented a new meal for those with diarrhea, I call it the “Incontinental Breakfast”
@jimmycarr
6:04 PM · Oct 8, 2013·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
Kevin Matthews
@SpaceTypist
Stayed at a hotel once, the meal in the morning had prunes, bran flakes, and complimentary diapers. It was an incontinental breakfast.
1:42 AM · Nov 7, 2013·TweetDeck
Gogole Books
Stand Up and Be Laughed At
By Brad Ashton
Published by author
2014
Pg. ?:
Would an incontinental breakfast contain prune juice?
Twitter
ann
@omically
A bran muffin and a glass of prune juice is an incontinental breakfast
11:55 PM · Sep 17, 2014·Twitter for iPhone
Twitter
Peter Sidell
@MrPeterSidell
Sausage, egg and bacon = English breakfast
Pastry and coffee = continental breakfast
Tofu, beans and prunes = incontinental breakfast
#joke
6:58 PM · Feb 16, 2015·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
Chad Opitz
@chadopitz
Taco Bell’s AM menu should be called the “Incontinental Breakfast”
3:54 AM · Feb 24, 2015·Twitter Web App
Twitter
Camilly Vanilly
@cinnamoncrolls
Nursing homes serve incontinental breakfast #pun
11:28 AM · Jul 7, 2015·Twitter for iPhone
Twitter
Branch Manager Probs
@BrnchMngerProbs
What do you call the first meal of the day at a nursing home? Incontinental breakfast.
3:34 PM · Jul 15, 2015·Twitter for iPhone
Reddit—Showerthoughts
Posted by u/phish_tacos November 16, 2015
Taco Bell should make a meal for business travelers called the ‘incontinental breakfast.’
Twitter
count shaqula
@shaqmacneil
Incontinental breakfast®
Served exclusively at shitty hotels.
3:18 PM · Dec 6, 2016·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
Vandabo
@Vandabo2
Replying to @Spectre_7
As opposed to an incontinental breakfast, consisting of bran flakes and three cups of coffee.
1:11 AM · Apr 28, 2017·Twitter for Android
Twitter
POOPSCRUFFIN4U
@POOPSCRUFFIN4U
you can call it an incontinental breakfast if the scrambled eggs give you diarrhea
3:14 PM · Apr 16, 2018·Twitter for Android
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/EvenBetterCool January 18, 2019
The crappiest buffet I have ever gone to was at the senior center.
It was the last time I try out the incontinental breakfast.
Twitter
POOPSCRUFFIN4U
@POOPSCRUFFIN4U
you can make any continental breakfast into an incontinental breakfast by pissing in everyone’s cheerios
4:35 PM · May 9, 2019·Twitter for Android
Twitter
Spookygasm Horrorpants
@TheRealDCF
Replying to @MjjWrites and @gonzotrucker
But their incontinental breakfast IS the shit.
8:40 PM · Dec 8, 2019·Twitter for Android
Twitter
to dismember or not to dismember
@Thothanon
Continental breakfast implies the existence of Incontinental breakfast.
11:30 AM · Dec 29, 2019·Twitter for Android
Twitter
Eric in the 21.21st Century
@ejt___
4 cups of coffee + bran muffin + prunes
= incontinental breakfast
8:11 AM · Aug 7, 2020·Twitter for Android
Twitter
The Doctor
@Drstevenhobbs
Incontinental breakfast
Quote Tweet
Eva R. Growing Seedling
@Eva_Tramell_
· Dec 3, 2020
What would be sold at an inconvenience store?
Show this thread
8:03 PM · Dec 3, 2020·Twitter for Android
Twitter
Kex
@Kex926
Beans on toast or, as the British call it, Incontinental Breakfast.
4:46 AM · Jan 28, 2021·Twitter for Android
Twitter
Jerms
@staygolden91
Piss all over the little boxes of Raisin Bran at the Holiday-Inn, call that an incontinental breakfast.
4:49 PM · Aug 15, 2021·Twitter for iPhone
Twitter
Jamie says trans rights
@jammywho21
Replying to @Plastic_Jim
A breakfast laced with prunes, laxatives and sweet corn called the incontinental breakfast
3:37 PM · Aug 23, 2021·Twitter for iPhone
Twitter
Inclubus (Wes)
@wam9000
Would a breakfast consisting of entirely bran based food be an incontinental breakfast?
2:12 PM · Sep 13, 2021·Twitter for Android
Twitter
poopoopooper
@learningtopoop
an incontinental breakfast is one that makes you shit your pants
3:11 PM · Sep 28, 2021·Twitter Web App
Twitter
Comedywire
@comedywire
Signs you’re staying at a bad hotel:
• They changed the name to “Worst Western”
• When you call about the dead hooker in the bathtub, they offer to replace her with a fresh one.
• Two words: Incontinental Breakfast
12:10 PM · Sep 30, 2021·Twitter Web App
Reddit—Dadjokes
Posted by u/subduedhistrionics October 21, 2021
What do you call a hotel breakfast that gives you diarrhea?
Incontinental
Twitter
just a bot
@the_alphaman_
What do you call a hotel breakfast that gives you diarrhea?
Incontinental
#humour
11:13 AM · Oct 21, 2021·Kipruto
Twitter
Dad Jokes
@Dadsaysjokes
What do you call a hotel breakfast that gives you diarrhea?
Incontinental.
1:30 PM · Oct 21, 2021·Twitter for iPhone