“What do you call a cow that just gave birth?”/“Decaffeinated.”
A decaffeinated coffee riddle has been cited in print since at least 1981:
Q: What do you call a cow that loses its calf?
A: Decaffeinated.
The joke has been printed on several images. The joke has had several forms, with the cow giving birth, having a miscarriage or having an abortion.
8 March 1981, Indianapolis (IN) Star, “Riddle Box,” sec. 7, pg. 6, cols. 1-2:
What do you call a cow that loses its calf?
Decaffeinated.
20 March 1981, News Journal (Mansfield, OH), “Fun Time—The Riddle Box,” pg, 24, col. 7:
What do you call a cow that loses its calf?
Decaffeinated.
Google Books
March 1991, Boys’ Life, “Think & Grin,” pg. 64, col. 3:
Daffynition: Decaffeinated — what you call a cow that can’t have babies. — Carl Faulstich, Spokane, Wash.
Google Groups: rec.humor
Henry III Joke List
.(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
6/19/91
What do you call a cow that has undergone an abortion?
Decaffeinated. (decalfinated)
Google Groups: alt.humor.puns
Just the FAQ, ma’am, true Punishment III
Eben Merriam Haber
6/15/94
(...)
If a cow gives birth is it then considered decaffeinated?
Google Books
Squeaky Clean Jokes for Kids
By Bob Phillips and Steve Russo
Eugene, OR: Harvest House Publishers
1997
Pg. 97:
Myrtle: What do you call a cow whose calf has been taken from her?
Maynard: You tell me.
Myrtle: Decaffeinated.
Google Groups: alt.religion.w-w-church-god
Bible Humor with Comments
Tom
4/2/99
(...)
What do you call a Cow that has a miscarriage?
- Decaffeinated.
Twitter
ozmar
@ozmar
Fave joke: “What do you call a cow that’s had an abortion?” A: “Decaffeinated”
8:24 AM - 17 Apr 2009
Twitter
Jim Gleeson
@JimGleeson
...Which reminds me of a joke. (and this one is a groaner) What do you call a cow after it has given birth? (Dramatic Pause) Decaffeinated.
3:15 PM - 14 Jun 2009
Reddit—Jokes
What do you call a cow that has just had an abortion?
submitted October 4, 2017 by loverevolutionary
Decaffeinated.