"We're having a traditional Thanksgiving.…

“I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land” was said by comedian Jon Stewart in 1994.

The joke is sometimes slightly changed to describe the “traditional Thanksgiving.” “Traditional Thanksgiving at my house. Having the new neighbors over for dinner. Then I’ll wait a few days, kill them, and take their land” was posted on Twitter by Disch S Preston Esq. Guitar on November 25, 2009. “We’re having a traditional Thanksgiving this year. We’re going to invite the neighbors to dinner, murder them, and take their land” was posted on Reddit—Jokes on November 17, 2016.

Twitter
Disch S Preston Esq. Guitar
@DirectorDisch
Traditional Thanksgiving at my house. Having the new neighbors over for dinner. Then I’ll wait a few days, kill them, and take their land.
10:20 PM · Nov 25, 2009·Twitter Web Client

Twitter
Thomas Wiggins
@DJ_Rain
Is having a traditional Thanksgiving. We’re inviting the neighborhood over for a huge feast. Then we’re going to kill them & take their land
10:21 AM · Nov 26, 2009·Twitter Web Client

Twitter
Digeratii (Archive)
@Digeratii
My family always has a more traditional Thanksgiving. We invite our neighbors over for dinner, then we kill them and take their land.
10:58 AM · Nov 26, 2009·Twitter Web Client

Twitter
Roman Godzich
@Romang
is prepping for a traditional Thanksgiving: Invite the neighbors for a meal then kill them and take their land.
1:24 PM · Nov 19, 2010·Twitter Web Client

Twitter
Caleb Vaught
@TheCougarine
A Traditional Thanksgiving in 3 steps.
1. Invite the neighborhood to your house.
2. Have a huge feast.
3. Kill them and take their land.
9:00 PM · Nov 20, 2011·Twitter Web Client

Twitter
Mighty Chu-Chu Mysterio
@mieserfrederick
3 Steps to a Traditional Thanksgiving:
1.) Invite over your neighbors to feast
2.) After Kill Them and Rape their women
3.) Take their land!
11:34 PM · Nov 21, 2012·Twitter for iPhone

Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/Dan-Quixote November 17, 2016
We’re having a traditional Thanksgiving this year.
We’re going to invite the neighbors to dinner, murder them, and take their land.

Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/Jokeminder42 November 12, 2020
A Traditional Thanksgiving
To feel some sense of normalcy amid this pandemic/election insanity, we’re going to have a real traditional thanksgiving.
We are having all of the neighbors over for a huge feast, and then we’re gonna kill them and take their land.
—Jon Stewart

Reddit—3amjokes
Posted by u/VERBERD November 24, 2020
Have a traditional Thanksgiving this year…
Invite the neighbours for dinner, murder them all and take their land.

“We’re having a traditional Thanksgiving. Invite neighbors to dinner, murder them, take their land”