“Unattended children will be given espresso and a free kitten”
“Unattended children will be given espresso and a free kitten” is a jocular saying that has been printed on many signs. “All Unattended Children Will Be Given a Free Kitten” was printed in the “Dear Abby” syndicated newspaper advice column on August 13, 1999. “Unattended children will be given an espresso and a free kitten” was printed in the Star Press (Muncie, IN) on July 28, 2007.
“Unattended children will be given an espresso and a free puppy” is a similar sign.
13 August 1999, Charleston (WV) Daily Mail, “Dear Abby” syndicated advice column, pg. 3D:
DEAR ABBY: Can you stand one more comment concerning “unattended” children?
I was co-owner of an antique store. My partners and I decided to put up a sign that read, “All Unattended Children Will Be Given a Free Kitten.”
Abby, the look of panic on the parents’ faces was priceless! We had some tiny fabric kittens that we gave the children who wanted one—and we got a lot of laughs from it.
Faithful reader
Small town, Texas
30 October 2006, Sydney (NSW, Australia) Morning Herald, “Column 8, pg. 18:
“The report in Saturday’s column about the ‘menacing sign’ in the pub in the Scottish village of Caldross (‘Unattended children will be sold as slaves’ ) reminded me of one that will strike even greater terror into the hearts of parents,” writes expat Ken Ray, of Jackson, Mississippi. “At the Old Court House Museum, in Vicksburg, is a hand-lettered sign at the front desk: ‘Unaccompanied children will be given a free kitten.”’ There is an even scarier variation on this, reported by several American readers, which advises that “unattended children will be given a free puppy and an espresso coffee’.”
28 July 2007, Star Press (Muncie, IN), “A couple of really cool bookstores” by Keith Roysdon, pg. 3D, col. 6:
Malaprops is part of Asheville, N.C.‘s funky and intriguing downtown, and it’s a great place for book lovers. It’s been around for 25 years and has many of the components that are now standard, including an eclectic selection, a cafe and funny signs—“Unattended children will be given an espresso and a free kitten”—and it’s worth a visit if you’re in the Asheville area.
Twitter
Melissa Fierce
@melissapierce
Sign in cafe: Unattended children will be given an espresso and a free kitten.
3:18 PM - 9 Aug 2008
Twitter
Andy Clarke
@Malarkey
Unattended Children will be given espresso and a kitten: http://www.flickr.com/photos/hagablog/2771635070/
2:21 PM - 17 Aug 2008
Twitter
Paul the music lover
@PTML
At this coffee shop there is a sign: Unattended children will be given an espresso and a free kitten.
12:00 AM - 20 Sep 2008
Twitter
Eva Lyford
@ejly
Shopping. Sign in store says unattended children will be given a free espresso and kitten
4:34 PM - 27 Sep 2008
Google Books
The World Without You
By Joshua Henkin
New York, NY: Pantheon Books
2012
Pg. 209:
“There was a sign in the store that said ‘Unattended children will be given espresso and a free kitten.’ I thought it was funny.”
Google Books
Late-Life Love:
A Memoir
By Susan Gubar
New York, NY: W. W. Norton & Company, Inc.
2019
Pg. ?:
While I waited through Don’s haircut at the barbershop, recalling conventions of the past, I gazed at two faded signs on the wall: “Trespassers Will Be Violated” and “Unattended Children Will Be Given Espresso and a Free Kitten.”
Twitter
Amanda Beth
@AmandaB16517797
@LiveKellyRyan Hi, the sign actually says “unattended children will be given espresso and a free kitten”. I have it in my kitchen” Love this sign!
9:14 AM - 15 Mar 2019