“There are no fish under the ice!” (ice fishing joke)
A popular ice fishing joke has been cited in print since at least 1990. A person is ice fishing when he (or she) hears a booming voice, “THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!” The person then moves 100 feet, cuts another hole in the ice, and puts a line in. “THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!” the voice shouts. “Are you God?” the man asks, trembling. “NO! I’M THE MANAGER OF THIS ICE RINK!”
Wikipedia: Ice fishing
Ice fishing is the practice of catching fish with lines and fish hooks or spears through an opening in the ice on a frozen body of water. Ice fishermen may fish in the open or in heated enclosures, some with bunks and amenities.
Google Books
The Best of Financial Mail’s : Did You Hear?
By David Furlonger and Walter Pichler
Cape Town, South Africa: Tafelberg
1992
Pg. 68:
February 23, 1990
Van der Merwe cut a hole in the ice and cast in his fishing line. A voice came from above: “There are no fish under the ice.” Van chose another spot, cut another hole and threw in his line. Again the voice came from above: “There are no fish under the ice.” Van looked up and asked: “Is that you, Lord?” “No,” was the reply, “I’m the manager of this ice-rink.”
Google Groups: rec.sport.hockey
Hockey Joke
David R. Jaracz
4/25/92
I wasn’t gonna post this, so as not to offend TRUCKLOADS of people, but since someone posted a Boston joke, here goes: A French Canadian is all set to go ice fishing. He takes his pick and starts chipping away at the ice. Suddenly he hears a voice from out of nowhere: “THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!!!!”
Well, this rattled the fisherman to say the least. He looked around but saw no one. After a few more quick looks, he started on the hole again. Then: “THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!!!!”
By no the French Canadian was kinda scared. Still, with the resolve that makes Nordiques fans famous, he starts digging one more time. He then hears:
“THIS IS THE RINK MANAGER! FOR THE LAST TIME, THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!!!!”
Google Groups: alt.tasteless.jokes
No fish
- .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) G - P
1/29/00
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She’d seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary “tools” together, she made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning her comfy stool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, “THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!!!!!!” Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a Thermos of cappuccino and began to cut another hole in the ice. Again from the heavens, the voice bellowed, “THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!!!!!”
The blonde, now quite worried, moved down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole in the ice.
The voice came once more, “THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!!!!”
She stopped, looked skyward, and said, “Is that you, Lord?”
The voice replied, “No, this is the Ice-Rink Manager.”
Reddit—Funny
Blonde gone fishing. (self.funny)
submitted February 29, 2012 by danidude
THE BLONDE AND THE LORD
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She’d seen many books on the subject, and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice.
After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice.
Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed,
“THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.”
Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. Again from the heavens the voice bellowed,
“THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.”
The blonde, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end of the ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut her hole.
The voice came once more,
“THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.”
She stopped, looked skyward, and said,
“IS THAT YOU LORD?”
The voice replied,
“No, this is the manager of the hockey rink.”
Reddit—Jokes
A blonde is drilling in the ice to fish when he hears a voice call out from above…
submitted March 2, 2017 by loneliness-inc
There are no fish under the ice
The guy looks up but doesn’t see anyone. He asks - can I at least drill and see for myself?
The answers in a louder tone.
There are no fish under the ice
The poor guy looks up and still can’t see anyone. He thinks to himself - maybe I’m just hearing voices. He continues drilling.
The voice bellows louder than ever!
There are no fish under the ice
Now the blonde begins to tremble as he asks - who speaks to me?
The owner of the skating rink
Reddit—Jokes
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time
submitted August 5, 2017 by Stevenerwin90
All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!” He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!” He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?” “No, this is the rink manager!”