“Then you were a prospect and now you are a client” (joke)

A popular business joke shows the difference between sales promises and business reality. A man dies and is told that he can tour heaven and hell, and then choose which place to spend eternity. He goes to hell, and the devil shows him a great time. There are golf courses, swimming pools, theaters, and every amenity one could imagine. He then visitis heaven and finds it pleasant, but a bit dull. He tells St. Peter to send him down to hell.
 
When he gets to hell to spend his time in eternity, he finds it’s a terrible place, full of fire and misery. The man asks the devil what happened. The devil tells him:
 
“Then you were a prospect and now you are a client.”
 
The joke has been cited in print since at least 1998 and is of unknown authorship.
 
   
Google Groups: nz.soc.religion
IT’S TIME FOR A STATEMENT OF UNFAITH - reposted for Alan.
John Cawston
5/9/98
(...)
Reminds me of the story about the decent banker who died and ended up at the Pearly Gates. St Peter said he had never struck a banker who deserved Heaven except for this bloke. So after discussion with God, he offered the banker the choice of Heaven or Hell and the privilege of experiencing both for 24 hours before making a choice.

Anyway, first up was Hell, and it was a riot, old friends, golf, drinking and women, and the Devil was a good bloke, our friend was sorry to leave.
 
Next, Heaven, that was pretty cool, defying gravity on clouds and playing a musical instrument for the first time.
 
But the banker eventually chose Hell and was duly deposited there.
 
What a change!
 
The place was desolate, his mates were in rags and being whipped and the whole place was awful.
 
“What happened ?”, asked the banker of the Devil, and the Devil said:
 
“Yesterday you were a prospect, now you are a client”!
 
Google Groups: uk.net.web.authoring
FastHosts - avoid them.
Andy Jacobs
10/6/99
(...)
Quick joke…
 
Sales-man goes to heaven.  Gets given choice to see what hell is like. Decides to take a look.  Goes down below.  All his old mates driving BMWs, FREE cellphones, all the gold cufflinks you can handle etc.  Goes back up to heaven and tells God that he likes hell better.  When he gets back the next day the place has changed.  Burning pits, whips, no beer etc.  He asks the devil what the score is.
 
“Yesterday you were a prospect, today you are a client”
   
Google Groups: alt.www.webmaster
CI Host - heaven or hell?
.(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
1/5/00
I got this today from the I-Sales Help Desk / Web Review list (http://www.audettemedia.com) that I am on.  I thought it was timely and that others might enjoy it.
On Heaven and Hell -  (Or Sales Versus Service?)
(...)
When the doors of the elevator opened he found himself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. He saw his friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. There were flames and horrible gases pouring out of the ground.
 
The Devil came up to him and put his arm around him once again.
 
“I don’t understand,” stammered the man, “Yesterday I was here and there was a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland full of garbage and everyone looks miserable.”
 
The Devil looked at him and smiled.
 
“That’s because yesterday you were a Prospect and we were interested in Selling you on Us. But today, you’re only a client.”
   
Google Books
An Act of Love:
Preparing Your Spouse for Life Without You; A Financial Guide
By David J. Herbeck
Edina, MN: Beaver’s Pond Press
2004
Pg. 13:
... beautiful golf course, and on his right was a wonderful beach with people lying in the sun. As they walked, they passed nice restaurants, theaters, and concert halls. Well, John was certainly impressed. At the end of the day, he got back on the elevator and returned to St. Peter. St. Peter told John to get a good night’s rest because the next day he would visit heaven.
 
The next day came and John went to heaven. There he found a nice, relaxing scene where people were lying about on billowy clouds, with nice music playing in the background. All of the people seemed very happy, content and at peace with themselves. After the day was over John returned to St. Peter where he was told he would have a night to think it over.
 
The next morning came and it was time for John’s decision. St. Peter asked him what his decision was. John said he was embarrassed, but he had to choose hell. Heaven was nice but he liked the more active life he had witnessed in hell. St. Peter said he would grant John his wish and put him back on the elevator for his ride down to hell. John asked the devil what happened to the golf course, beach, restaurants, and entertainment areas. The devil replied, “John, yesterday you were a prospect and today you are a client.” Do not let this happen to you when picking an advisor.
   
AccountingWEB
The 6 Myths of Losing Your Clients
by Bryce Sanders on Aug 20 2014
Remember the old joke about the devil showing a guy around Hell? There were great parties, swimming pools, and sumptuous food. The guy liked what he saw, lived a bad life and went to Hell when he died. Upon arrival the devil brought him into a world of fire and brimstone. He asked: “What happened to the place you originally showed me?” The devil replied: “Then you were a prospect, now you are a client.”