“Someone once told me that time heals all wounds. That’s right, I said. Then I broke their wrist & gave them my watch”

“Time heals all wounds” is an old saying that might or might not be true. This joke was posted on X/Twitter by Princess Buttercup on May 23, 2014, and it received over 7,500 likes:
 
“My therapist told me ‘time heals all wounds’,
So I stabbed him. Now we wait…”a
 
The joke has been printed on many images.
 
There are other “time heals all wounds” jokes. “Someone told me that time heals all wounds…GREAT! im gonna go buy a clock and skip all those pesky Dr. bills! WoooHo” was posted on X/Twitter by Melinda Rodriguez on July 19, 2010. “Someone told me today that time heals all wounds. My response to her was, ‘Well, what if you get hit in the face with a clock?!’ ha! Take that, advice!” was posted on Facebook by Faizal Jiwa on January 18, 2013. “Someone once told me that time heals all wounds. That’s right I said. Then I broke their wrist & gave them my watch” was posted on X/Twitter by Andrew McKenna on April 28, 2014. “People say ‘time heals all wounds,’ but have you ever seen a clock perform surgery? Think about that while it ticks louder” was posted on X/Twitter by Elysia.AI on February 8, 2025.
 
“RT @NerdyChique ‘I was told that time heals all wounds, what exactly do you do on days when it feels like your clock has arthritis’?” was posted on X/Twitter by Panda Ade-Fatona on October 18, 2011. “I was told that time heals all wounds but what exactly do you do on the days that it feels like the hands on your clock has arthritis” was posted on X/Twitter by Ruu on April 30, 2013. “‘I was told that time heals all wounds.  But what exactly do you do on days when it feels like your clock has arthritis’ @RudyFrancisco” was posted on X/Twitter by zama ungandidiki on January 17, 2014.
 
 
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
time heals all wounds
idiom
—used to say that feelings of sadness, disappointment, etc., gradually go away as time passes
     
X/Twitter
Melinda Rodriguez
@LckyRoll7
Someone told me that time heals all wounds…GREAT! im gonna go buy a clock and skip all those pesky Dr. bills! WoooHo
o!
1:36 AM · Jul 19, 2010  
 
X/Twitter
Panda Ade-Fatona
@HeyCoachPanda
RT @NerdyChique “I was told that time heals all wounds, what exactly do you do on days when it feels like your clock has arthritis”?
6:31 AM · Oct 18, 2011
 
X/Twitter
B
@breonnaxoxo
I heard that time heals all wounds, but what do you when the hands on your clock seems like it has arthritis?
3:17 PM · Dec 23, 2011
 
X/Twitter
BALDHeadHoeShit
@joshiedomus
They say time heals all wounds, but what exactly do you do when it feels like that hands on your clock has arthritis?
2:15 AM · Jun 22, 2012
 
X/Twitter
NAYNAY
@NaeLavon
I was told time heals all wounds , but wut do you do when it feels like your clock has arthritis ?
2:22 AM · Nov 30, 2012
 
Facebook 
Faizal Jiwa
January 18, 2013 at 12:54 AM ·
Someone told me today that time heals all wounds. My response to her was, “Well, what if you get hit in the face with a clock?!” ha! Take that, advice!
     
X/Twitter
Ruu
@ruuthlesswun
“I was told that time heals all wounds but what exactly do you do on the days that it feels like the hands on your clock has arthritis”
11:20 PM · Apr 30, 2013
 
X/Twitter
zama ungandidiki
@justchumz
“I was told that time heals all wounds.  But what exactly do you do on days when it feels like your clock has arthritis”
@RudyFrancisco
2:40 PM · Jan 17, 2014
 
X/Twitter
Andrew McKenna
@mckenna_andrew
Someone once told me that time heals all wounds.
That’s right I said.
Then I broke their wrist & gave them my watch.
6:11 PM · Apr 28, 2014
 
X/Twitter
Princess Buttercup
@GoldenSpirals
My therapist told me “time heals all wounds”,
So I stabbed him. Now we wait…
3:16 PM · May 23, 2014
 
X/Twitter
Abu iHustle
@iknowthehustle
My therapist told me “time heals all wounds”,
So I stabbed him. Now we wait…
3:32 PM · May 23, 2014
 
Reddit—Jokes
McSavage6s—May 27, 2018
My Therapist told me, “Time heals all wounds”.....
So, I stabbed him. Now we wait.
 
Facebook
Facts And Horror Stories
October 10, 2020 at 5:00 AM ·
My therapist told me “Time heals all wounds”, so i stabed him. Now we wait…
-Hiki
 
Bluesky
forgottenxi.bsky.social
‪@forgottenxi.bsky.social‬
My therapist told me time heals all wounds. I stabbed him several times. Now, we wait….
A joke, I haven’t had a therapist in years. She lived… 😉
February 4, 2025 at 10:17 PM
 
X/Twitter
Elysia.AI
@ELYSIADOTAI
Automated
People say “time heals all wounds,” but have you ever seen a clock perform surgery? Think about that while it ticks louder.
8:34 AM · Feb 8, 2025
 
X/Twitter
Daisy the Awkward Badass
@Chicago_Daisy
My therapist told me time heals all wounds. 
So I stabbed him.  Now we wait.  😂😂
11:48 PM · Feb 18, 2025