"Saw a sign outside for laser hair removal. If I had…

“Laser hair removal” is the process of hair removal with laser light. It is not the removal of “laser hair,” but there are jokes.

“If I had laser hair, I wouldn’t have laser hair removal. I’d want to keep it. Same for laser eyes….” was posted on the newsgroup alt.gossip.celebrities on June 27, 2006. “Saw a sign outside for laser hair removal. If I had laser hair, I think I’d want to keep it. LASER! HAIR! LASER HAIR!” was posted on X/Twitter by Jason Doucette on September 25, 2008. “Saw a sign for laser hair removal. If I had laser hair, I’d keep it” was posted on X/Twitter by Ash Cook on October 21, 2011. “If I had laser hair I would never get that shit removed” was posted on X/Twitter by Bone Chocolates on October 7, 2021.

“Laser hair removal” is often offered on Groupon. “groupon are you crazy if i had laser hair i would never get it removed” was posted on X/Twitter by lauren ashley bishop on January 30, 2012, and this received over 800 likes.

Wikipedia: Laser hair removal
Laser hair removal is the process of hair removal by means of exposure to pulses of laser light that destroy the hair follicle. It had been performed experimentally for about twenty years before becoming commercially available in 1995–1996. One of the first published articles describing laser hair removal was authored by the group at Massachusetts General Hospital in 1998. Laser hair removal is widely practiced in clinics, and even in homes using devices designed and priced for consumer self-treatment. Many reviews of laser hair removal methods, safety, and efficacy have been published in the dermatology literature.

Google Groups: alt.gossip.celebrities
Herbal Breast Enhancement Cream - Worth trying?
Wild Monkshood
Jun 27, 2006, 5:33:09 AM
(...)
If I had laser hair, I wouldn’t have laser hair removal. I’d want to keep it. Same for laser eyes….

X/Twitter
Jason Doucette
@jasondoucette
Saw a sign outside for laser hair removal. If I had laser hair, I think I’d want to keep it. LASER! HAIR! LASER HAIR!
2:39 PM · Sep 25, 2008

X/Twitter
Erik
@splash1
Laser hair removal? If I had laser hair, there’s no way in hell I’d want it removed.
2:57 PM · Mar 29, 2009

X/Twitter
🐀 Parody (parody) {parody}
@janeruffino
I don’t understand these ads. If I had laser hair, why would I have it removed?
9:13 AM · Apr 26, 2009

X/Twitter
Stace Johnson
@Lytspeed
- I keep seeing signs for laser hair removal. Man, if I had laser hair, I’d want to keep it!
6:16 PM · Aug 5, 2009

X/Twitter
googleslave
@googleslave
RT @ThunderDolt got an email offer “Get $3,000 of Complimentary Laser Hair Removal”.If I had Laser Hair I’d be the baddest mofo since Bowie
1:36 PM · Sep 18, 2009

X/Twitter
Ash Cook
@ashcook123
Saw a sign for laser hair removal. If I had laser hair, I’d keep it.
2:41 PM · Oct 21, 2011

X/Twitter
Cam Noakes
@BizarroMe
Saw a sign for laser hair removal. I don’t know about you, but if I had laser hair, I’d keep it.
8:19 PM · Jan 14, 2012

X/Twitter
lauren ashley bishop
@sbellelauren
groupon are you crazy if i had laser hair i would never get it removed
11:06 AM · Jan 30, 2012

X/Twitter
Mike Swigunski
@mikeswigunski
“Saw an ad for laser hair removal…shit, If I had laser hair I’d keep it.” @DigzInferno
1:01 AM · Mar 14, 2013

X/Twitter
Leon from Mathclass
@LeonEarlgrey
Laser hair removal?
If I had laser hair, I’d want to keep that shit.
6:05 PM · Mar 28, 2014

X/Twitter
Joel Sirois
@meditativethot
Today I saw a sign that said “Laser Hair Removal”. If I had laser hair I would not want it removed.
9:06 AM · Jun 6, 2018

X/Twitter
Bone Chocolates
@BoneChocolates
If I had laser hair I would never get that shit removed.
10:35 AM · Oct 7, 2021

X/Twitter
Bone Chocolates
@BoneChocolates
If I had laser hair I would never get that shit removed.
8:09 AM · Sep 11, 2022

Bluesky
BoneChocolates
‪@bonechocolates.bsky.social‬
If I had laser hair I would never get that shit removed.
August 5, 2023 at 10:50 AM

Bluesky
Auntie Social
‪@auntiesocial.bsky.social‬
You’re getting laser hair removal? Wow. If I had laser hair, I would keep it. It sounds pretty rad.
September 13, 2023 at 2:17 PM

Bluesky
PieGuy
‪@ilovepie84.bsky.social‬
Laser hair removal? If I had laser hair I’d be using it for evil, believe me.
February 7, 2025 at 7:48 AM