“Old cooks never die, they just get deranged”

“Old soldiers never die—they just fade away” is an old saying that was popularized by General Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964) in his farewell address to Congress on April 19, 1951. Many parodies of the saying have been made.
     
“Old cooks never die, they just get deranged” is a variation about cooks that has been cited in print since at least 1991.
 
   
19 December 1964, Wassau (WI) Daily Record-Herald, “Walkin’ & Talkin’,” pg. 14, col. 2:
Or, as Dunkin’ Hinds says, “Old cooks never die; they just fry away.”
   
Google Groups: rec.humor   
Old blondes never fade, they just dye away.
Mark Israel
1/15/91
(...)
Old cooks never die, they just get deranged.
 
Google Groups: rec.humor
Interim Canonical List of Old * Never Die, they just ...
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1/11/93
(...)
OLD COOKS never die, they just get deranged
 
13 November 2002, Sault Star (Sault Ste. Marie, ON), Fred Loader column, pg. B5:
On a T-Shirt: “Old cooks never die, they’re just de-ranged.”
 
Google Books
Stop Me If You’ve Heard It!:
Soupy Sales Favorite Jokes
By Soupy Sales
Lanham, MD: The Rowman & Littlefield Publishing Group, Inc.
2003
Pg. 109:
Old cooks never die, they just get deranged.
 
Google Books
Have You Heard the One About…
By Lucy Blackman
Lincoln, NE: iUniverse, Inc.
2005
Pg. ?:
Old cooks never die, they just get deranged.
   
2 April 2009, Taos (NM) News, “Overheard and Unconfirmed” by Rick Romancito, pg. TE41:
Old cooks never die, they just get de-ranged.
   
Twitter
Jean-Bob Alister‏
@jbalister
Old cooks never die, they just get deranged.
#squarespace
8:29 AM - 15 Jun 2009
 
Twitter
Puns of Jokes‏
@punsofjokes
Old cooks never die, they just get deranged.      #funnystuff #funnystuff
3:16 PM - 18 Mar 2017