“Lettuce is just crunchy water”

Is lettuce mostly water? “Torn lettuce is prettier, anyway. Even if is just ‘crunchy water’” was posted on the newsgroup alt.fan.cecil-adams on November 7, 2001. “Favorite Salad Dressing:  Ranch.  The only reason to even eat salad. Without Ranch Dressing, it’s just crunchy water” was posted on the newsgroup rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc on May 10, 2002. “Why no iceberg?  It’s just crunchy water” was posted on the newsgroup austin.food on October 4, 2002.
 
Similar food sayings are “Celery is just crunchy water,” “Cucumbers are just crunchy water,” “Vegetables are just crunchy water,” “Watermelon is just crunchy juice” and “Watermelon is just crunchy water.”
     
           
Google Groups: alt.fan.cecil-adams
Police Food State!   
Tank
11/7/01
(...)
Torn lettuce is prettier, anyway. Even if is just “crunchy water”.
     
Google Groups: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc
The New RATMM Survey
Kate Halleron
5/10/02
(...)
Favorite Salad Dressing:  Ranch.  The only reason to even eat salad.
Without Ranch Dressing, it’s just crunchy water.
   
Google Groups: austin.food
Mikado review: Asian fusion
Steve Wertz
10/4/02
(...)
Why no iceberg?  It’s just crunchy water.
 
9 April 2003, Fort Worth (TX) Star-Telegram, “Dining With…The Modern’s Man,” pg. 1E, col. 1:
Best food that Texans don’t know they’re missing: “Lettuce. I had one old Texan tell me, ‘Nothin’ to it, just crunchy water.’ He has a point, but with a little crumbled blue cheese…”
   
Twitter
🌷Molly Marshall 🌷
@probablymolly
wonders why iceburg lettuce exists. Who wants to eat crunchy water?
11:07 AM - 4 Dec 2006
   
Twitter
Crix Of The Month Club
@crixlee
Just heard the most brilliant definition of what lettuce tastes like: crunchy water.
3:30 AM - 19 Dec 2008
   
Twitter
Raquita
@Raquita
iceburg lettuce its like eating crunchy water.. I have no idea why I like it so
3:14 PM - 16 Feb 2009
   
Twitter
Ocdfashionista
@ComplexMosaic
RT @jimmycarr: lettuce is crunchy water!!
10:52 AM - 6 Mar 2009
 
Twitter
DA STEP DADDY OF RAP
@DamienSwag4dayz
the flavor of vegetables seem so unnecessary. tomatoes taste like water, cucumbers taste like water, lettuce taste like crunchy water
7:17 PM - 8 May 2012
 
Reddit—Highdeas
Lettuce is just crunchy water (self.highdeas)
submitted December 21, 2014 by Pubetube0
Ever think about that?
   
Reddit—Shower Thoughts
Lettuce is just crunchy water
submitted March 9, 2016 by sawer707
 
Reddit—Shower Thoughts
Lettuce is just crunchy water
submitted December 18, 2017 by ColDaddySupreme1
 
Redidit—Shower Thoughts
Lettuce is just crunchy water
submitted May 29, 2018 by Terelius
     
Twitter
grandpa fan account
@heathbeIser
iceberg lettuce is crunchy water
7:17 PM - 13 Jun 2018
 
Twitter
Jared-kun ʕ⊙ᴥ⊙ʔ
@JTCowner
romaine lettuce is just crunchy water
8:02 PM - 13 Jun 2018