“It says here in this history book that, luckily, the good guys have won every single time”

“History is written by the victors” is a proverbial saying. Many people have said that American history books are written to make the United States look like the “good guys,” who win every time.
   
“Think about it, the ‘good guys’ have won every war in history” was posted on Twitter by FORMER FAN on January 16, 2017. “Do you ever think it’s funny that all the good guys have won every war there ever was. God aren’t we lucky” was posted on Twitter by jon on June 26, 2020. “Sort of crazy how the good guys have won every single war” was posted on Twitter by Book Account Prodigy on March 22, 2022.
 
In 2022, the joke was credited on memes to Canadian stand-up comedian Norm Macdonald (1959-2021), but no source was cited. “As the late great Norm MacDonald said: ‘you know, I was reading this history book, and isn’t this the craziest thing, but apparently the good guys won, every single time!’” was posted on Twitter by “Mack - And That’s It!” on June 28, 2022. “It says here in this history book that; luckily, the good guys have won every single time. What are the odds?” (shown with an image of Norm Macdonald) was posted on Facebook by Being Libertarian on July 5, 2022. “Interesting… It says here that the good guys have won every single time. Lucky us!” (shown with an image of someone reading a history book) was posted on Facebook by The Free Thought Project 4.0 on July 15, 2022.
 
“‘It says here in this history book that luckily, the good guys have won every single time. What are the odds?’ - Norm MacDonald” was posted on Twitter by Save Your Sons on August 30, 2022. “‘It says here in this history book that, luckily, the good guys have won every single time. What are the odds?” Norm MacDonald” (shown on an image) was posted on Twitter by Rothmus 🏴 on October 29, 2022.
   
   
Wikipedia: Norm Macdonald
Norman Gene Macdonald (October 17, 1959 – September 14, 2021) was a Canadian stand-up comedian, actor, and writer. His stand-up style was characterized by a slow, almost stuttering deadpan delivery and the use of folksy, old-fashioned turns of phrase. He appeared in many films and was a regular guest on late-night talk shows, where he became best known for telling shaggy dog stories.
           
Wiktionary: history is written by the victors       
Proverb
history is written by the victors

History is often told according to the interpretation and biases of prevailing historical actors, often those who won in geopolitical disputes or otherwise became dominant forces in society.
 
Twitter
FORMER FAN
@RaiderBounty
All history.
Think about it, the “good guys” have won every war in history.
Quote Tweet
Ryan Burns
@FtblSickness
·
Jan 16, 2017
Replying to @FtblSickness
The MLK about whom I was taught in school was such a sliver of the man. What, I pondered, if that’s how ALL history was taught? Guess what.
12:11 PM · Jan 16, 2017·Twitter for iPhone
       
Twitter
Justin
@ohbuck9
Replying to @ThomasEWoods and @notaxation
A friend if mine who was a history major told me the good guys always win the war, according to history…
6:15 PM · May 24, 2017·Twitter for Android
 
Twitter
VA✝️_CI✝️Y 🔺🔺🔺|🔺🔺
@Vat_city
Thanks god the good guys have won every war in history.
12:42 AM · Apr 6, 2019·Twitter for iPhone
     
Twitter
kïm
@pinotgringa
The good guys always win the war because the victors write the history
12:56 AM · Sep 10, 2019·Twitter for Android
 
Twitter
sam_of_astora
@astora_sam
Isn’t it just crazy how the good guys have won every single war in the past 200 years and that the losing sides were all evil no questions asked
3:03 PM · Jun 6, 2020·Twitter for Android
   
Twitter
jon
@j0nVanVilet
Replying to @RonnieG303 and @SocialM85897394
Do you ever think it’s funny that all the good guys have won every war there ever was.
God aren’t we lucky
7:10 PM · Jun 26, 2020·Twitter Web App
   
Twitter
Jarod Kintz
@JarodKintz1
In our history books, the good guys have won every single war, including WWII. Boy, I love true stories.
7:16 PM · Oct 27, 2020·Twitter for Android
 
Twitter
doodoofard
@matthewzurowes1
Crazy how the good guys have won every war
4:37 PM · Mar 26, 2021·Twitter for iPhone
 
Twitter
Cöpyr (discontinued account)
@CopingEmperor
Isn’t it crazy how the good guys have won every war in history
5:07 PM · Nov 18, 2021·Twitter for Android
 
Twitter
💒
@ea48c19ffaf141
it’s so cool how the good guys have won every war ever :D
2:59 AM · Feb 1, 2022·Twitter for Android
 
Twitter
Book Account Prodigy
@SaxonGurth
Sort of crazy how the good guys have won every single war.
11:59 PM · Mar 22, 2022·Twitter Web App
 
Twitter       
Ace
@Ace_Archist
Replying to @TowerKingCole
it really is incredible how the “good guys” have won every single war since the beginning of time.
funny that.
4:50 PM · May 16, 2022·Twitter Web App
 
Twitter
Mack - And That’s It!
@TMerimack
Replying to @JackDiamon30 @awesomeotters2 and 2 others
As the late great Norm MacDonald said:
“you know, I was reading this history book, and isn’t this the craziest thing, but apparently the good guys won, every single time!”
1:46 PM · Jun 28, 2022·Twitter for Android
   
Facebook
Being Libertarian
July 5, 2022 at 9:02 PM ·
We miss him. (KV)
(The following text is shown on an image. Norm Macdonald is shown reading.—ed.)
It says here in this history book that; luckily, the good
guys have won every single time. What are the odds?
   
Twitter
Rusty Cuyler
@BrianAn72935190
Replying to @DempMcgee @QRN064 and @John45985552
“According to history books, the good guys have won 100% of the time… What are the chances?!” -Norm MacDonald
4:10 PM · Jul 10, 2022·Twitter Web App
 
Twitter
Covfefe Anon
@CovfefeAnon
Replying to @la_chatte_verte and @bog_beef
It says here the good guys have won every war… what are the odds of that?
9:08 PM · Jul 14, 2022·Twitter Web App
 
Facebook
The Free Thought Project 4.0
July 15, 2022 at 12:15 PM ·
History is always written by the winners 🤥
(The following text is shown on an image. A person is shown reading an American history book.—ed.)
Interesting… It says here that the good guys
have won every single time. Lucky us!
   
Twitter
🐟 Kenley | kenleybrowne.eth
@KenleyBrowne
It says here in this history book that luckily the good guys have won every single time…
What are the odds!
11:33 PM · Jul 15, 2022·Twitter for Android
   
Twitter
Jake Justen
@jake_justen
It says here in this public school American history textbook that the good guys won every single time. What are the odds? 🤷‍♂️
Quote Tweet
Diane Ravitch 🇺🇸🇺🇦🌈 💔
@DianeRavitch
·
Jul 22
Replying to @WWIII_Veteran @schoolchoicebyz and @PatrioticJay
The only indoctrination takes place in religious schools, not public schools.
9:36 PM · Jul 22, 2022·Twitter for Android
 
Twitter
Spooky Pug Pains 🎃
@SandyPugGames
Replying to @BesDMarx
there’s a norm mcdonald joke where he’s like “I was reading the history books, and it turns out, get this, the good guys won every single time! can you believe that? What a luck coincidence”
4:41 PM · Jul 28, 2022·Twitter Web App
   
Twitter
#justjared
@Jaredtheauthor
I remember Norm McDonald’s skit where he’s explaining to a kid that in every historical event the good guys won. Amazing!
It’s always written by the victorious but not always by the good.
Quote Tweet
Matt Walsh
@MattWalshBlog
·
Jul 30
Well over one million whites were enslaved in North Africa between the 16th and 19th centuries, most of them abducted and sold by Muslim pirates. Africans were raiding Europe for slaves for hundreds of years. The school system has totally erased this fact from history.
Show this thread
12:32 PM · Jul 30, 2022·Twitter for Android
   
Reddit—NormMacdonald
Posted by u/doctordestroy August 10, 2022
What was the joke where essentially Norm says how odd it is that the good guys win every time?
   
Reddit—Tucker_carlson
Posted by u/1950sDream August 15, 2022
Norm MacDonald: It says here in this history book that; luckily, the good guys have won every single time. What are the odds?
 
Twitter
Chancellor Gowron
@Gowron15
Replying to @bonchieredstate and @3rd_Way_Stinks
It says here in this history book that luckily the good guys have won every single time. What are the odds?
12:33 AM · Aug 27, 2022·Twitter for iPhone
 
Twitter
Save Your Sons
@SaveYourSons
“It says here in this history book that luckily, the good guys have won every single time. What are the odds?”
- Norm MacDonald
8:50 AM · Aug 30, 2022·Twitter for iPhone
 
Twitter
McGroarty
@mcgroarty
Replying to @GraduatedBen and @bog_beef
“It says here in this history book that, luckily, the good guys have won every single time. What are the odds!?” - Norm MacDonald
12:06 PM · Oct 16, 2022·Twitter for iPhone
 
Twitter
Rothmus 🏴
@Rothmus
Cc: @beinlibertarian
(The following text is shown on an image.—ed.)
“It says here
in this history book
that, luckily, the
good guys have
won every single
time.
What are the
odds?”
Norm MacDonald
4:55 PM · Oct 29, 2022·Twitter for iPhone