“I’m a vegetarian not because I love animals, but because I hate plants”

“I’m a vegetarian, not because I love animals…but because I hate plants!” said comedian A. Whitney Brown in the May 1983 Vegetarian Times. The joke is that if don’t like something, you end its life and eat it; this is opposite of the conventional wisdom that vegetarians like plants.
 
Brown also used the joke in his 1991 book, The Big Picture: An American Commentary.
 
   
Wikipedia: A. Whitney Brown
Alan Whitney Brown (born July 8, 1952) is an Emmy Award-winning writer and comedian probably best known for his recurring appearances on Saturday Night Live in the 1980s in a Weekend Update segment called “The Big Picture”. He was one of the original correspondents on Comedy Central’s The Daily Show from 1996 to 1998.
 
Born in Charlotte, Michigan, Brown began his career as a street juggler, and became a stand-up comedian after entering the 1975 San Francisco Comedy Competition. He became a member of the Writer’s Guild when he was hired by Lorne Michaels to join the writing staff of Saturday Night Live in 1985; he was also a featured performer. He left for personal reasons six years later. He worked briefly for the liberal radio network Air America Radio during its start-up period in early 2004 and remains active in online political discourse.
           
Google Books
May 1983, Vegetarian Times, “someone you should know” by Sandra Hansen, pg. 59, col. 1:
(A. Whitney—ed.) Brown starts out most of his monologues with an unexpected question for the audience: “Anybody out there a vegetarian?” The grin of a mad scientist comes over his face as he continues, “I’m a vegetarian, not because I love animals…but because I hate plants!”
 
Google Books
The Big Picture:
An American commentary
By A. Whitney Brown
New York, NY: HarperPerennial
1991
Pg. 124:
I thought I could do my own small part to save the planet by becoming a vegetarian. Actually, I did it not so much because I love animals but because I hate plants.
 
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From: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) (Amanda Walker)
Date: 17 Jun 91 20:31:49 GMT
Local: Mon, Jun 17 1991 3:31 pm
Subject: Re: SIMMs of differnt speeds in IIsi
 
“I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals; I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” —A. Whitney Brown
 
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From: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) (Bill Claussen)
Date: 24 Mar 1993 19:21:24 GMT
Local: Wed, Mar 24 1993 2:21 pm
Subject: Re: A simple question (to vegetarians)
 
I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals…. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.
A. Whitney Brown
 
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Newsgroups: alt.sex, soc.singles, talk.bizarre
From: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) (Stef Jones)
Date: Wed, 12 May 1993 14:23:48 GMT
Local: Wed, May 12 1993 9:23 am
Subject: Re: secondary small technical question
 
I’m a vegetarian not because I love animals but because I hate plants.—Kovick
   
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From: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
Date: Thu, 3 Mar 1994 19:34:25 GMT
Local: Thurs, Mar 3 1994 2:34 pm
Subject: Re: Environmental Humor Wanted
 
I’m a vegetarian not because I love animals but because I really hate plants.
(Borrowed from someones sig. file on rec.music.gdead)
                       
Google Books
Like Mother, Like Daughter:
How women are influenced by their mothers’ relationship with food
By Debra Waterhouse
New York, NY: Hyperion
1998
Pg. 59:
One aspiring comedienne put a different twist on vegetarian diets when she told me, “I’ve become a vegetarian not because I love animals but because I hate plants.”