"If you can't change the people around you,…

“You can’t change the people around you, but you can change the people around you” is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that you can’t change the beliefs of the people around you, but you can change the people around you by going with a friendlier crowd. Authorship of the saying—which has several slight variations—is uncertain.

“If you can’t change the people around you, change the people around you” was printed in The Courier-Journal (Louisville, KY) on July 13, 2004. “If you can’t change the people around you, then change the people around you” was posted on Facebook by Leon Moore on October 14, 2009. “You can’t change the people around you but you can change the people you are around” was posted on Facebook by Ricardo Miller Children’s Ministries on February 25, 2010. “You can’t change the people around you but you can change the people around you:) #foodforthought!” was posted on X/Twitter by “A very blessed girl” on April 8, 2010. “If you can’t change the people around you, then change the people around you” was printed in the Valley News (West Lebanon, NH) on May 9, 2012. “#2096. You can’t change the people around you, but you can change the people around you. Think about it. #brotips” was posted on X/Twitter by Brotips on July 8, 2012.

“You can’t change the people around you, but you can change the people around you” was posted on The Minimalists by Joshua Fields Millburn in December 2013. The Minimalists popularized the saying, but did not originate it.

The Minimalists
The Minimalists are Emmy-nominated Netflix stars and New York Times–bestselling authors Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus. Alongside their podcast cohost, T.K. Coleman, this simple-living trio helps millions of people eliminate clutter and live meaningfully with less.

The Minimalists
Wallpaper: You Can’t Change the People Around You, but You Can Change the People Around You
By The Minimalists
Over the years, one of our most popular Minimal Maxims has been “You can’t change the people around you, but you can change the people around you.” Meaning, we can’t force others to change, but we can surround ourselves with more supportive relationships.

Because we often need a reminder that, as Jim Rohn famously said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with,” our friends at SPYR transformed our “change people” maxim into a stunning wallpaper for your smartphone and desktop, which you can download for free below.

Newspapers.com
22 February 1987, The Sunday Tennessean (Nashville, TN), “Classes emphasize changes, challenges in women’s lives” by Linda Quigley, pg. 3E, col. 1:
The Key to Successful Relationships. You can’t change the people around you, but you can change yourself.

That’s the message Gail Eichelberger will offer in “The Key to Successful Relationships,” the first of the series.

Newspapers.com
13 July 2004, The Courier-Journal (Louisville, KY), “B96’s Mark Gunn sees popular style as unifying force” by Tom Dorsey, pg. E2, col. 2:
If you check out Mark Gunn’‘s philosophy on the WGZB radio Web site, you’ll see it says:

“If you can’t change the people around you, change the people around you.” He believes everybody has some control over his or her life.

Facebook
Leon Moore
October 14, 2009 at 12:50 AM ·
Sis said “If you can’t change the people around you, then change the people around you”. That’s powerful to me, but how bout i change me a lil bit too while I’m in the process of movin jokers around?... Yeah, that sounds like a plan. I wanna SMACK sumbody!

Facebook
Ricardo Miller Children’s Ministries
February 25, 2010 at 4:51 PM ·
You can’t change the people around you but you can change the people you are around.

X/Twitter
A very blessed girl
@JenNichole_
You can’t change the people around you but you can change the people around you:) #foodforthought!
1:52 PM · Apr 8, 2010

X/Twitter
Eric L. McCarter
@mystro1773
You can’t change the people around you, but you can change the people around you…think about it!
5:27 PM · Apr 27, 2010

X/Twitter
SUPREMOS 🤍🐘
@DONJAZZY
RT @Nika_Dee: You can’t change the people around you but you can change the people around you ** u re high
2:30 PM · May 14, 2010

Facebook
Dr. Farrah Gray
August 10, 2010 at 1:43 PM ·
“If you can’t change the people around you, then change the people around you.”

Facebook
The Credit Woman, LLC
September 29, 2010 at 3:52 PM ·
If you can’t change the people around you, CHANGE the people around you!- Unknown

X/Twitter
Kakarot
@Nomas_nomenos
You can’t change the people around you but you can change the people around you #thinkaboutit
8:17 PM · Oct 31, 2011

Newspapers.com
9 May 2012, Valley News (West Lebanon, NH), “Victim Is Linked to Former Student at Canaan Elementary School,” pg. A4, col.s 4-5:
“If you can’t change the people around you, then change the people around you,” she (Natalie Perriello—ed.) wrote to him on April 3.

X/Twitter
Brotips
@brotips
#2096. You can’t change the people around you, but you can change the people around you. Think about it. #brotips… http://via.me/-2v2hqbc
6:18 PM · Jul 8, 2012

The Minimalists
Goodbye Fake Friends
By Joshua Fields Millburn · Follow: Facebook, Instagram (From December 2013.—ed.)
(...)
So goodbye, fake friends of old: I’m walking away for good, and you won’t be able to catch up. Before I go, though, I want to thank you for teaching me one of life’s most important lessons…

You can’t change the people around you, but you can change the people around you.

X/Twitter
Jerry Robertson
@JerryTechcited
“You can’t change the people around you, but you can change the people around you.” http://theminimalists.com/fake/
@TheMinimalists
10:31 AM · Dec 12, 2013

X/Twitter
Joshua Fields Millburn
@JFM
You can’t change the people around you, but you can change the people around you.
theminimalists.com
Goodbye Fake Friends - The Minimalists
When I walked away from a successful career three years ago, you thought I was crazy…
8:35 PM · Dec 15, 2013

Google Books
Minimalism:
Live a Meaningful Life
By Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus
Missoula, MT: Asymmetrical Press
2015
Pg. ?:
Change Yourself, Not Others
You can’t change the people around you, but you can change the people around you.

Sometimes you have to get rid of certain relationships, even relationships of great value. Sometimes a person’s beliefs or values are radically different from yours.

X/Twitter
The Minimalists
@TheMinimalists
You can’t change the people around you, but you can change the people around you.
1:05 PM · Feb 25, 2025