“I want to die the day after Congress is filled with honest, hard-working, bipartisan men and women”
A popular joke has a fairy (or genie) grant a person a wish. The person wishes to live forever, but the fairy says he can’t do that. Then the person says that he/she wants to die the day after something happens (a team wins the World Cup or World Series or Super Bowl, for example). “You crafty bastard,” the fairy says. A Congress version of the joke has been cited in print since at least 2011.
Google Groups: tx.guns
Re: British wart removal
Alex Clayton
Jun 17, 2011, 3:14:52 PM
(...)
I met a Genie today that said she would grant me one wish.
“I want to live forever,” I said.
“Sorry,” said the Genie, “I’m not allowed to grant wishes like that!”
“Fine,” I said, “then I want to die after Congress gets their heads out of their a$$e$!”
“You crafty bastard,” said the Genie.
Google Groups: comp.sys.mac.system
Lion Passes First Test
George Kerby
Jul 29, 2011, 7:46:58 PM
(...)
Here is a little funny:
I met a fairy today that said she would grant me one wish.
“I want to live forever,” I said.
“Sorry,” said the fairy, “I’m not allowed to grant wishes like that!”
“Fine,” I said, “then I want to die after Congress gets their heads out of their asses.”
“You crafty bastard,” said the fairy.
Reddit—Forwardsfromgrandma
Posted by u/sleeper141 damn sassy lady! December 23, 2012
A WISH TO LIVE FOREVER
A WISH TO LIVE FOREVER
I met a fairy who said she would grant me one wish.
Immediately I said, “I want to live forever.”
“Sorry,” said the fairy, “I’m not allowed to grant eternal life.”
“OK,” I said, “Then, I want to die after Congress gets its head out of its ass!”
“You crafty bastard,” said the fairy.
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/Antsy_Siegel March 14, 2018
I met a genie today who said he would grant me one wish.
“I want to live forever,” I said.
“Sorry” said the genie, “I’m not allowed to grant wishes like that!”
“Fine,” I said, “I want to die after the Republicans get their heads out of their asses!”
“You crafty bastard,” said the genie.
Twitter
Davis Barfield
@totalake
I met a magical fairy who said she’d grant me 1 wish.
“I wish to live forever,” I said.
“Sorry, I’m not allowed to grant that wish.”
“Fine, then I want to die the day after Congress is filled w/honest, hard-working, bipartisan members who act only in the ppl’s best interests!”
6:20 PM · Jul 5, 2018·Twitter Web Client
Davis Barfield@totalake·Jul 5, 2018
Replying to @totalake
“You crafty bastard!” replied the fairy.
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/Raiders81412 January 31, 2019
I met a magical fairy yesterday who said she would grant me one wish.
“I wish to live forever,” I said.
“Sorry,” said the fairy, “I’m not allowed to grant that particular wish.”
“Fine,” I said. “Then I want to die the day after Congress is filled with honest, hard-working, bipartisan men and women who act only in the people’s best interests!”
“You crafty bastard,” replied the fairy.
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/antonyperk February 2, 2021
I met a fairy today that granted me one wish
“I want to live forever” I said.
“Sorry” said the fairy, “I’m not allowed to grant those type of wishes.”
“Fine” I said, “I want to die only after the last repost has been made in r/jokes!”
“You crafty bastard!” said the fairy.
Twitter
Tea.Party.Patriot.1776
@T3aPartyPatriot
I met a fairy who said she would grant me one wish.
Immediately I said, “I want to live forever”
“Sorry” said the fairy, “I’m not allowed to grant eternal life.”
“OK,” I said, “Then, I want to die after Congress gets its head out of its ass!”
“You crafty bastard,” said the fairy.
11:02 PM · Nov 6, 2021·Twitter for Android