“I never used to warm up my Thanksgiving leftovers, but then I quit cold turkey”
“Cold turkey” (an abrupt cessation of a substance dependence) has nothing to do with Thanksgiving leftovers, but there are jokes.
“Show me a man who throws Thanksgiving leftovers in the garbage and I’ll show you a fella who quits cold turkey” was printed in The Daily News (Longview, WA) on November 13, 1971. “Show me Thanksgiving leftovers in the garbage and I’ll show you a man who quit cold turkey” was printed in the Berwyn LIFE Cicero (Berwyn, IL) on November 28, 1986. “Or, as we always say: Show us a man who throws Thanksgiving leftovers in the garbage, and we’ll show you a man who quits cold turkey” was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on November 15, 2001.
“If someone is addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers, can you expect them to quit cold turkey?” was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.jewish on November 7, 2003. “I’m addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers… my family says I need to quit cold turkey (baddum ching!)” was posted on Twitter by Emilie Kopp on November 28, 2008. “I used to be addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers. I had to quit cold turkey” was posted on Reddit—Jokes on November 19, 2017.
“I always heat up my thanksgiving leftovers. I quit cold turkey a long time ago” was posted on Twitter by Brooke on November 29, 2013, and on Reddit—Jokes on December 3, 2013. “I never used to warm up my Thanksgiving leftovers but then I quit cold turkey” was posted on Twitter by Nick Casserole on November 28, 2014. “I had to heat up my Thanksgiving leftovers tonight because I’m going to quit cold turkey” was posted on Twitter by Prolix on November 28, 2015. “When you heat up leftovers from thanksgiving… You’re quitting cold turkey” was posted on Reddit—Jokes on November 30, 2017.
There are non-Thanksgiving forms of the pun. “I was addicted to eating frozen poultry, but I quit cold turkey” is a related joke.
Wikipedia: Cold turkey
“Cold turkey” refers to the abrupt cessation of a substance dependence and the resulting unpleasant experience, as opposed to gradually easing the process through reduction over time or by using replacement medication.
Newspapers.com
13 November 1971, The Daily News (Longview, WA), “Bunk,” pg. 4, col. 5:
Show me a man who throws Thanksgiving leftovers in the garbage and I’ll show you a fella who quits cold turkey.
Newspapers.com
28 November 1986, Berwyn LIFE Cicero (Berwyn, IL), “LIFE’s Laffs,” pg. 1, right masthead:
Show me Thanksgiving leftovers in the garbage and I’ll show you a man who quit cold turkey.
Google Groups: rec.music.beatles
Tom
Oct 12, 1999, 3:00:00 AM
>>I don’t know that Lennon ever went into a program. I think he detoxed
>>on his own.
>
>Lennon quit cold turkey.
I never knew he was addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers.
Google Groups: alt.humor.puns
Puns of the Weak: Special Thanksgiving Edition]
Stan Kegel
Nov 15, 2001, 1:58:49 PM
(...)
Or, as we always say: Show us a man who throws Thanksgiving leftovers in the garbage, and we’ll show you a man who quits cold turkey.
Google Groups: alt.humor.pun
Puns of the Weak 11/29/02
Stan Kegel
Nov 29, 2002, 9:33:22 PM
(...)
Or, as we always say: Show us a man who throws Thanksgiving leftovers in the garbage, and we’ll show you a man who quits cold turkey. (Lederer & Ertner)
Google Books
Reader’s Digest
Volume 163
2003
Pg. 83:
QUESTIONABLE QUESTIONS
If someone is addicted to eating Thanksgiving leftovers, can he quit cold turkey?
Google Groups: alt.humor.jewish
Quips
Renee
Nov 7, 2003, 10:35:34 AM
(...)
If someone is addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers, can you expect them to quit cold turkey?
Twitter
Duc Nguyen
@mtnsurfer
OH: Q: Why do some ex-smokers stay away from Thanksgiving leftovers? A: Because they quit cold turkey. #cornyjoke
11:40 PM · Nov 27, 2008·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
Emilie Kopp
@iEmilie
I’m addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers… my family says I need to quit cold turkey (baddum ching!)
12:55 PM · Nov 28, 2008·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
Dan Sanborn
@EasyBakeLovin
I’m totally addicted to eating cold thanksgiving leftovers in the morning, you can’t just expect me to quit cold turkey
11:01 AM · Nov 29, 2008·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
robin steele
@robinsteele
Please remember: if you are addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers…quit cold turkey.
12:45 PM · Nov 26, 2009·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
Christine D
@chrstned
If someone is addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers, can he quit cold turkey?
12:48 PM · Nov 27, 2009·Twitter Web Client
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/zoroash November 23, 2012
The first year I didn’t eat Thanksgiving leftovers on the day after.
I quit cold turkey.
Twitter
Brooke
@getbentbrooke
I always heat up my thanksgiving leftovers. I quit cold turkey a long time ago.
8:53 PM · Nov 29, 2013·Twitter for Android
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/iscoopyourpoop December 3, 2013
I always heat up my Thanksgiving leftovers.
I quit cold turkey a long time ago.
Twitter
play 92 Regina
@play92regina
I have to warm up my Thanksgiving leftovers, not that it wouldn’t be delicious, its just that I quit cold turkey, so… -The Matt James Show
8:37 PM · Oct 14, 2014·Twitter Web Client
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/Bob_Squob November 27, 2014
It seems like every year I wind up eating leftovers from Thanksgiving until weeks afterwards.
Not this year though, I’m quitting cold turkey.
Twitter
Nick Casserole
@Nick422
I never used to warm up my Thanksgiving leftovers but then I quit cold turkey.
10:04 AM · Nov 28, 2014 from North Charleston, SC·Twitter for iPhone
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/Chargra November 28, 2014
The worst part of Thanksgiving is all of the leftovers…
and having to heat them up every time I want to eat since I quit cold turkey.
Reddit—Showerthoughts
Posted by u/gitsao November 30, 2014
If you’re trying to not eat Thanksgiving leftovers you’re trying to quit cold turkey.
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/hannalou March 1, 2015
I’ve been addicted to eating the Thanksgiving leftovers…
...so I decided to quit cold turkey.
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/bth_football06 November 26, 2015
Every year I end up have so much Thanksgiving leftovers..
Not this year though. I’m quitting cold turkey
Twitter
Prolix
@Prolix19
I had to heat up my Thanksgiving leftovers tonight because I’m going to quit cold turkey.
7:44 PM · Nov 28, 2015·Twitter Web Client
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/69petra November 22, 2016
It seems like every year I wind up eating leftovers from Thanksgiving until weeks afterward.
Not this year though, I’m quitting cold turkey.
Reddit—Oneliners
Posted by u/sylphvanas November 19, 2017
I used to be addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers, but I had to quit cold turkey
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/IroncladOtter November 19, 2017
I used to be addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers
I had to quit cold turkey
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/mommarun November 30, 2017
When you heat up leftovers from thanksgiving…
You’re quitting cold turkey
Reddit—Dadjokes
Posted by u/fatandsalt August 23, 2018
It seems like every year I wind up eating leftovers from Thanksgiving for weeks afterward.
Not this year though, I’m quitting cold turkey.
Google Books
Super Dad Jokes:
Saving the World, One Bad Joke at a Time
By Jimmy Niro
Naperville, IL: Sourcebooks
2019
Pg. ?:
I used to be addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers. I had to quit cold turkey.
Reddit—Dadjokes
Posted by u/n3rv0u5 September 20, 2020
I cannot stop eating leftover Thanksgiving. It’s becoming a real problem.
I just need to quit cold turkey.
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/WeightnessAgreats November 25, 2021
I’m not going to eat Thanksgiving leftovers anymore.
This year, I’m quitting cold turkey.
Reddit—Dadjokes
Posted by u/Tommy_like_wingie November 26, 2021
I might be addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers
Looks like I’ll have to quit cold turkey