"I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I…

“I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don’t believe anything the government tells me. Nothing. Zero” is a saying credited to American stand-up comedian George Carlin (1937-2008) that has been printed on many images.

“I don’t believe anything the government tells me” was printed in the Grand Rapids (MI) Press on May 20, 1991. “I don’t believe anything the government tells me. Especially when it comes to war” was printed in the Journal Star (Peoria, IL) on July 22, 1991. “Carlin said that he lives by three iron clad rules ‘#1. Don’t believe anything the government tells you” was printed in the Citizens’ Voice (Wilkes-Barre, PA) on October 25, 1991.

“I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don’t believe anything the government tells me” was said by George Carlin in his HBO special, Jammin’ in New York, recorded at Madison Square Garden’s Paramount Theater on April 24 and 25, 1992. Carlin added the word “nothing” and fingered the number “zero.” His remarks referenced the Gulf War in Iraq.

“I trust the government to lie about everything” is a related saying.

Wikipedia: George Carlin
George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic, and author. Regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time, he was dubbed “the dean of counterculture comedians”. He was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and taboo subjects. His “seven dirty words” routine was central to the 1978 United States Supreme Court case F.C.C. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 5–4 decision affirmed the government’s power to censor indecent material on the public airwaves.

Wikiquote: George Carlin
George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, singer, voice artist, and comedian, noted especially for his irreverent attitude and his observations on politics, language, psychology, and religion, as well as some taboo subjects.
(...)
Jammin’ in New York (1992)
I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don’t believe anything the government tells me.

Wikipedia: Jammin’ in New York
Jammin’ in New York is George Carlin’s 14th album and eighth HBO special, recorded on April 24 and 25, 1992, at the Paramount Theater, on the grounds of Madison Square Garden in New York City. Topics include the war in the Persian Gulf, similarities and differences among average Americans and language used at airports.

The album won a Grammy Award in 1993 for Best Spoken Comedy Album.

20 May 1991, Grand Rapids (MI) Press, “Quirky, quick mind keeps Carlin at the top” by John D. Gonzalez, pg. D8:
... (“I don’t believe anything the government tells me”); he talks about things ...

22 July 1991, Journal Star (Peoria, IL), “Chaos, disorder and Carlin Comedian attacks the things we cherish, like war and golf” by Phil Luciano, pg. C16:
...death and destruction isn’t as glorious as some would have you believe was, “I don’t believe anything the government tells me. Especially when it comes to war.”

Newspapers.com
25 October 1991, Citizens’ Voice (Wilkes-Barre, PA), “Carlin: An institution of humor” by Al Choman, pg. 3, col. 3:
Carlin said that he lives by three iron clad rules “#1. Don’t believe anything the government tells you; #2. Don’t talk to the media, it’ll get you in trouble no matter what and #3. I don’t believe in flags. They’re symbols and they’re for the symbol minded.”

Newspapers.com
26 January 1992, The Salt Lake Tribune (Salt Lake City, UT), “Carlin still scores with fighting words and dirty words” by Lori Buttars, pg. E10, col. 3:
George Carlin likes to make people think.
(...)
“Don’t believe anything the government tells you,” he told the crowd who gathered Friday night at Symphony Hall.

20 October 1995, Sun Sentinel (Fort Lauderdale, FL), “The friend of chaos as far as comedian George Carlin is concerned, the world’s beyond saving, so he has complete freedom to attack” by Jeff Rusnak, pg. 18:
Carlin’s subversive nature is now in full form, well-timed for the end of the millennium. In his Jammin In New York concert, Carlin said, “I don’t believe anything the government tells me,” and added “The media functions as a P.R. agency for the government.”

Google Groups: alt.politics.libertarian
Income tax question
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Jan 5, 2000, 3:00:00 AM
(...)
“I don’t believe anything the government tells me… EVER!”
-George Carlin

23 October 2003, Boston (MA) Globe, “Letters,” pg. 14:
George Carlin once said, “I have certain rules. The first is I don’t believe anything the government tells me.”
(...)
ARNOLD KOCH
Vice chairman, Melrose Taxpayers Alliance Melrose

Google Books
I Was Much Happier When Everything I Owned Was In The Back Seat Of My Volswagen
By Richard Roberts
Charlestwon, MA: Baby Boomer Press
2004
Pg. 155:
Like George Carlin says: “I have rules that I live by. My first rule is that I don’t believe anything the government tells me. Anything.”

YouTube
George Carlin makin Govt’s cry
Apr 17, 2010
llvlladfuker
no 1 takes any notice to Govt’s dont vote for them as they dont care for you,Voting is the illusion of democracy or demo crazy
(Said at about 4:20 minutes in.—ed.)

Twitter
David Feng
@DavidFeng
“I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don’t believe anything the government tells me.” - George Carlin
9:50 AM · May 15, 2009·Twitter Web Client

Twitter
Andrew Laitman
@ARLaitman
I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don’t believe anything the government tells me. [George Carlin, Jammin’ in New York (1992)]
11:28 PM · Sep 16, 2010·Twitter Web Client

Twitter
Mister Gentleman.
@JoshuaCSpann
“Don’t believe anything the government tells you or, just to be safe, never believe anything anyone tells you.” - George Carlin. #isthebest
5:20 PM · Nov 3, 2010·Twitter SMS

Twitter
Bryan R. Quinn is on hiatus
@AuthorBryan
I have certain rules that I live by. My first rule: I don’t believe anything the government tells me. Nothing. Zero.
- George Carlin
I believe in less than that. Grinning face with smiling eyes
10:20 PM · May 18, 2021·Twitter Web App

Twitter
Miggy Adnan Salas
@pluszero_lvngrm
“My first rule, I don’t believe anything the government tells me. Nothing.. zero.”—George Carlin #fb
2:18 AM · May 26, 2011·Twitter Web Client

Twitter
Colin McKay
@DerorCurrency
“I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don’t believe anything the government tells me ... NOTHING! ... ZERO!!” ~ George Carlin
8:04 PM · Nov 20, 2011·Twitter Web Client

Twitter
George Carlin
@TheGeorgeCarlin
“I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don’t believe anything the government tells me.”
1:28 AM · Sep 9, 2013·Twitter Web Client

YouTube
I Don’t Believe Government (Comedian George Carlin)
Oct 13, 2013
Michael Maloney
1) Don’t believe government
2) Leave symbols for the symbol minded

Twitter
George Carlin
@TheGeorgeCarlin
My first rule: I don’t believe anything the government tells me. Nothing. Zero.
GIF
2:23 PM · May 14, 2017·Twitter Web App

Twitter
Whobetterthanace414
@Whobetterthana1
Replying to @RealMattCouch
“ I don’t believe anything the government tells me “
George Carlin ( 1937 -2009 )
7:20 AM · Aug 4, 2021·Twitter for iPhone