“I couldn’t believe it today when I came home and my wife said that my 5-year-old son wasn’t mine…”
Fathers can be pretty bad at picking up a child at school, and there’s a joke about this.
“When I came home I was told by my wife that my 5-year-old son wasn’t mine. She was right I must pay more attention at the school gates” was posted on X/Twitter by Col on September 4, 2013. “Today, I was told by my wife that my 5-year-old son wasn’t mine. She says that I need to pay more attention when picking him up from school” was posted on X/Twitter by Roger Bishop on September 11, 2013. The first line of the joke seems to indicate that the wife is revealing to the husband that he is not the father. However, the second line provides the punchline—the father had picked up the wrong child from school.
“I was gutted today when I came home and was told by my wife that my 5 year old son wasn’t actually mine… She says that I need to pay more attention when picking him up from school…” was posted on X/Twitter by TeamSickipedia (originally on the Sickipedia website) on September 12, 2018. “I couldn’t believe it today, when I came home and was told by my wife that my 5-year-old son wasn’t actually mine. She says that I need to pay more attention when picking him up from school” was posted on X/Twitter by Bob Kostic on September 3, 2020. “I was dismayed this afternoon when my wife told me my 6 year old son wasn’t actually mine. She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up” was posted on X/Twitter by Bob Kostic on April 6, 2021. “I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn’t actually mine. Apparently I need to pay more attention during school pick-up” was posted on X/Twitter by Bill G on APril 28, 2021.
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X/Twitter
Col
@countcol
When I came home I was told by my wife that my 5-year-old son wasn’t mine.
She was right I must pay more attention at the school gates.
10:17 AM · Sep 4, 2013
X/Twitter
Roger Bishop
@rogertheriter
Today, I was told by my wife that my 5-year-old son wasn’t mine. She says that I need to pay more attention when picking him up from school.
7:52 AM · Sep 11, 2013
X/Twitter
JKN
@JKNenagh
When I came home my wife said my 5yr old son wasn’t actually mine.
She says I need to pay more attention when picking him up from school
6:05 PM · Jan 21, 2015
X/Twitter
Yuckitup dot Com
@yuckitup
My wife told me that my 5-year-old son wasn’t actually mine. She says I need to pay more attention when picking him up from school.
12:50 PM · Jun 22, 2015
X/Twitter
Yorkie ‘B’ 🏴☠️ RN VD and Scar..🇬🇧
@RenownVet02
I was gutted today when I came home and was told by my wife that my 5-year-old son wasn’t actually mine.
She says that I need to pay more attention when picking him up from school…..
7:36 AM · Sep 9, 2018
X/Twitter
TeamSickipedia
@teamsickipedia
I was gutted today when I came home and was told by my wife that my 5 year old son wasn’t actually mine…
She says that I need to pay more attention when picking him up from school…
11:06 AM · Sep 12, 2018
X/Twitter
Bob Kostic
@causticbob
I couldn’t believe it today, when I came home and was told by my wife that my 5-year-old son wasn’t actually mine.
She says that I need to pay more attention when picking him up from school.
6:58 PM · Sep 3, 2020
X/Twitter
Dad Jokes
@Dadsaysjokes
I was gutted this afternoon when my wife told me my 5 year old son wasn’t actually mine.
She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
1:20 PM · Sep 30, 2020
Reddit—Dadjokes
VERBERD—November 18, 2020
I was devastated this afternoon, when my wife said my 5 year old son wasn’t mine…
She said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
X/Twitter
Bob Kostic
@causticbob
I was dismayed this afternoon when my wife told me my 6 year old son wasn’t actually mine.
She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
6:38 PM · Apr 6, 2021
X/Twitter
Bill G
@AbBillG
I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn’t actually mine. Apparently I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.
7:25 AM · Apr 28, 2021
Reddit—Cleandadjokes
CzarcasmRules—December 12, 2021
I was scared when my wife said my 6 year old son wasn’t mine
She said I need to pay more attention at the school pickup
iFunny
Thewonderer
11 dec 2023
I couldn’t believe it today when I came home and my wife said that my 5 year- old son wasn’t mine… She said that I need to pay more attention when picking him up from school.
X/Twitter
Bob Kostic
@causticbob
I was horrified when my wife told me that my 6 year old son wasn’t mine…
Apparently I need to pay more attention during school pickup
6:20 PM · Oct 17, 2025