Fix Everything My Ass (Federal Emergency Management Agency or FEMA nickname)

The Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) began in 1979 for the purpose of responding to disasters. FEMA has had many critics, especially for its response to 2005’s Hurricane Katrina. Late night television comedian Jay Leno said in September 2005:

“As you know, FEMA stands for ‘Fix Everything My Ass.’”
 
This slang definition of “FEMA” has been widely used, often with “ass” written as “a$$.” Another FEMA nickname, also dating since 2005’s Hurricane Katrina, is “Federal Emergency Mismanagement Agency.” FEMA nicknames from 2024’s Hurricane Helene include “F Every MF American,” “F Everyone Mostly American.s and “Funneling Emergency Money to Aliens.”
   
   
Wikipedia: Federal Emergency Management Agency
The Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) is an agency of the United States Department of Homeland Security, initially created by Presidential Reoranization Plan No. 1 of 1978 and implemented by two Executive Orders. On 1 April 1979. The primary purpose of FEMA is to coordinate the response to a disaster that has occurred in the United States and that overwhelms the resources of local and state authorities. The governor of the state in which the disaster occurs must declare a state of emergency and formally request from the president that FEMA and the federal government respond to the disaster. FEMA also provides these services for territories of the United States, such as Puerto Rico. The only exception is when an emergency and/or disaster occurs on federal property or to a federal asset, for example, the 1995 bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, or the Space Shuttle Columbia in the 2003 return-flight disaster.
 
While on-the-ground support of disaster recovery efforts is a major part of FEMA’s charter, the agency provides state and local governments with experts in specialized fields and funding for rebuilding efforts and relief funds for infrastructure, in conjunction with the Small Business Administration. FEMA also assists individuals and businesses with low interest loans. In addition to this, FEMA provides funds for training of response personnel throughout the United States and its territories as part of the agency’s preparedness effort.
 
Urban Dictionary
Fema
Fix Everything My Ass!
When your area becomes devastated, don’t expect FEMA to know what to do.
by Victim2005 Oct 13, 2005
       
Funnies or not…   
By michael_to on Friday, September 9, 2005 - 11:33 am:
Jay Leno: “As you know, FEMA stands for ‘Fix Everything My Ass.’ ... And even President Bush, almost a week later, President Bush said his administration’s response to Katrina was unacceptable. Then he said ‘Hey, don’t blame me, I was on vacation.’ Although, to his credit, President Bush did respond quickly and he did send troops as soon as he found out Louisiana had oil. Then he was right in there. ... Did you know you don’t even have to be a lawyer to be on the Supreme Court? You don’t even have to be a lawyer. Just like you don’t have to be an emergency expert to work for FEMA.”
 
Religious ReFFugees
Harvestmoon
September 10 2005, 10:53 PM
FEMA      
Velvet dubbed it “Fix Everything…My Ass”. Michael Brown had such wonderful background and credentials, it’s not wonder Bush picked him to head FEMA. Someone with a background in Arabian horses was the perfect pick.
 
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From: Shining Path of Least Resistance
Date: Mon, 12 Sep 2005 11:03:53 +0900
Local: Sun, Sep 11 2005 9:03 pm
Subject: Mean ‘ol comedians making jokes about Pres. Bush and Katrina
 
“As you know, FEMA stands for ‘Fix Everything My Ass.’”—Jay Leno
 
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From: Victoria

Date: Mon, 12 Sep 2005 07:39:53 -0500
Local: Mon, Sep 12 2005 7:39 am
Subject: Late night comics
 
“As you know, FEMA stands for ‘Fix Everything My Ass.’”—Jay Leno
 
AuthorsDen
Fix Everything My A$$
By Mary Lynn Plaisance
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
(...)
very parade had a FEMA Float, and this one was at the parade I go to every year.
       
Kawasaki Motorcycle Forum
jace7124
09-17-2006
I heard that FEMA stands for “Fix everything my A$$”
     
Google Books
Voices Rising:
Stories from the Katrina Narrative Project
Edited by Rebeca Antoine; Katrina Narrative Project.
New Orleans, LA: UNO Press
2008
Pg. 143:
“I don’t care what no one says. I think they should all resign because that shouldn’t have went down. FEMA now deserves another name: Failed to Evacuate Many Americans or Fix Everything, My Ass.”
 
Google Books
The Hour I First Believed: A Novel
By Wally Lamb
New York, NY: Harper Perennial
2009, ©2008
Pg. 475:
“When I was talking to my old cuz, he says, ‘You know what FEMA stands for, don’t you? Fix Everything My Ass.’” I nodded, smiled.
 
Google Books
A Dubya in the Headlights:
President George W. Bush and the media
By Joseph Hayden
Lanham, MD : Lexington Books
2009
Pg. 179:
Talk show host Jay Leno explained the agency this way: “As you know, FEMA stands for ‘Fix Everything My Ass.’”