“Eat Right. Exercise. Die Anyway.”

“Eat right, exercise, die anyway” is a popular slogan on many gift items, such as T-shirts and bumper stickers. The last line—“die anyway”—is the one constant; no one can escape death, despite all efforts to be healthy. “Eat right” is sometimes given as “eat well” and “exercise” is sometimes given as “stay fit,” among other variations.
 
“Eat. Run. Stay Fit and Die Anyway” was a line used by the comedian George Carlin (1937-2008) in August 1985. The bumper sticker “Eat Well, Stay Fit and Die Anyway” appeared by at least September 1986.
 
     
25 August 1985, The Times-Picayune (New Orleans, LA), TV Focus, pg. 3, col. 2:
“Carlin’s stand-up sitcom on HBO” by Mark Lorando,
Some of his more recent articles were titled, “Eat. Run. Stay Fit and Die Anyway” and “The Golden Age of Tongue Kissing.”
(George Carlin’s freelance writer on his comedy special, Apt. 2-C—ed.)
 
18 September 1986, Atlanta (GA) Journal-Constitution, pg. C1:
TODAY’S BUMPER STICKER spotted by Marshall Miller: “Eat Well, Stay Fit and Die Anyway.”
 
Google News Archive
20 February 1987, Observer-Reporter (Washington, PA), “Extend a hand, Friendship Week is coming next week” by Byron Smialek, pg. A12, col. 5:
Read a T-shirt lately? (This one, being worn by a shapely young lady, caught the attention of a good friend who even remembered what was printed on the front): “Exercise hard, eat fiber, die anyway,” it said.
   
Google Books
Made in Detroit
By Rob Kantner
New York, NY: Bantam Books
1990
Pg. 6:
Somehow I knew you’d wear sneakers, raggedy cutoff jeans, and a T-shirt with something really vulgar printed on it, like — what does it say? It’s all scrunched up, I can’t make it out.”
 
“‘Eat Right, Stay Fit, Die Anyway.’”
     
Google Books
Pain is inevitable but misery is optional so, stick a geranium in your hat and be happy!
By Barbara Johnson
Dallas, TX: Word Pub.
1990
Pg. 133:
As the bumper sticker says:
EAT RIGHT, STAY FIT
DIE ANYWAY.
   
1 February 1990, Environmental Nutrition:
A popular T-shirt message proclaims: “Don’t smoke, exercise, eat right, and die anyway.” No truer words have been spoken.
   
6 June 1991, Mobile (AL) Register, “Consumer Line: Tell it to Gripeman,” pg. 14A, col. 1:
And to the people that push this “meat stinks” campaign on the basis that vegetables are “good for you,” my reply is: Eat Right, Exercise Every Day, See Your Doctor, Die Anyway.
 
11 August 1991, Los Angeles (CA) Times:
“Eat Right, Stay Fit and Die Anyway.”
(A bumper sticker seen in San Diego—ed.)
   
Google Books
The Bookman’s Wake:
A Cliff Janeway novel
By John Dunning
New York, NY: Scribner’s
1995    
Pg. 67:
Crystal told me about a bumper sticker she had seen that said: DON’T SMOKE . . . EXERCISE . . . EAT FIBER ... DIE ANYWAY. And we laughed.
 
Google Books
The Aesthetics of Ruins
By Robert Ginsberg
Amsterdam: Rodopi
2004
Pg. 405:
Eat Well, Stay Fit, And Die Anyway
American Bumper Sticker, 1994
 
Google Books
Healthy Habits for a Fit Family
By J. Ron Eaker
Grand Rapids, MI: Revell Books
2007
Pg. 108:
One of my favorite bumper stickers states, “Eat healthy. Exercise daily. Die anyway!” Cynical but true.