“Do you deliver?”/“No, but we do chicken, lamb and fish.”

A restaurant joke—usually an Indian restaurant—about takeout/takeaway is:
 
PERSON ON PHONE TO RESTAURANT: Do you deliver?
RESTAURANT EMPLOYEE: No, but we do chicken, lamb and fish.
 
“Deliver” sounds like “de liver.” The joke was told by English comedian Peter Kay by at least 2002.
 
     
Wikipedia: Peter Kay
Peter John Kay (born 2 July 1973) is an English comedian and actor. Kay has written, produced, and acted in several television and film projects, and authored three books.
   
Google Groups: uk.rec.motorcycles
OT: Kebabs
Dave@envigour id
8/28/02
Baby no 3 is due *imminently* here, so we’re not wandering far right now.
Last night I called the local kebab shop and asked ” Do you deliver?”
“No mate, just lamb,chicken and fish “.
 
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OT: Peter Kaye joke on the Television awards
Moog
4/13/03
I phoned a take away last night…
I asked ‘do you deliver’
They said…......
 
“No we do Lamb, Chicken and Beef”
 
Google Groups: uk.rec.humour
Deliver ??
andrew.upton4
4/17/03
I rang up my local take - away last night.
I said ” Do you deliver ? “
He said
“No - we do lamb, chicken and fish ” !
   
19 April 2003, The Daily Telegraph (London, UK), “Frankly, I’d rather strip naked for the Plymouth Brethren” by Anne Robinson, pg. 25:
Thank goodness for Peter Kay arriving on stage. He finally broke the sound barrier: “I rang a takeaway last night. I said: `Do you deliver?’” (This is best done in a deep Ribble Valley accent.) ``They said, `No, we do lamb, chicken and fish.’”
   
8 April 2005, The Daily Telegraph (London, UK), “Ink Squirt,” pg. 27:
SIR - Ken Evans’s tale of the cloves was not far removed from the inquiry made at a northern take-away: ``Do you deliver?’’ ``No, but we de chicken, lamb and beef,’’ came the reply.
Geoff Wright
Doncaster, S Yorks
     
17 July 2007, Daily Mail (London, UK), “The almost invisible blue line,” Peterborough sec., pg. 1:
I PHONED our new Indian takeaway and placed an order for chicken jalfrezi, lamb madras, rice and naan.
 
‘Do you deliver?’ I asked.
 
‘No,’ came the reply. ‘Just chicken and lamb.’
P. G. Johnson, Bedfont, Middx.
   
Google Books
The Wit and Wisdom of the North
By Rosemarie Jarski  
London, UK: Ebury
2009
Pg. ?:
I said, ‘Do you deliver?’ They said, ‘No, we do lamb, chicken and fish.’
Peter Kay
 
Reddit—Jokes
Do you deliver?
submitted September 24, 2014 by Grayburger
A man rings up his local Indian restaurant and asks, “Do you deliver?”
And the man at the other end of the phone replies, “Nah mate. Just beef, chicken and lamb.”
   
Google Books
3000 Jokes, 2997 Laughs
By Mike Haskins
London, UK: Portico
2017
Pg. ?:
Tom phones his local takeaway and asks, ‘Do you deliver?’ ‘No, mate,’ says a voice, ‘but we do lamb, chicken and beef.’
 
Twitter
Just me
@nsj1970
#tuesdaytitters
Phoned the local Indian take away last night..I said do you deliver?
No..but we do chicken..lamb….
😬😂
#classic
8:08 AM - 1 May 2018