Decafitation (decaf + decapitation)
“Decapitation” (cutting off someone’s head) is sometimes written as the coffee joke portmanteau word “decafitation” (decaf coffee, to many a “decapitation” of real coffee). “Switching my coffee for decaf is decafitation, and believe me, punishable by decapitation” was posted on Twitter by Notorious d.e.b. on August 20, 2009. “DECAFITATION - when u just cant get ur hed into things w/out that 1st cup of coffee!” was posted on Twitter by Drew Snider on September 10, 2009. “Decafitation (n.): The sudden cutting off of one’s caffeine supply” was posted on Twitter by Mark Reid on December 14, 2010.
A “decaf/decap” riddle was posted on Reddit—3amjokes on June 26, 2015:
Q: How do executioners like their coffee?
A: Decap.
A “decafitation” riddle was posted on LaffGaff on December 30, 2019:
Q: How do you kill a coffee bean?
A: By decaf-itation.
Twitter
Notorious d.e.b.
@debihope
Switching my coffee for decaf is decafitation, and believe me, punishable by decapitation. Keep it in mind, @navanax.
6:45 AM · Aug 20, 2009·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
Drew Snider
@drewdsnider
a word 4 u this am: DECAFITATION - when u just cant get ur hed into things w/out that 1st cup of coffee!
9:15 AM · Sep 10, 2009·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
Brad Whittington
@bradwhitt
I have strange dreams. Last night I dreamed a new word. Decafitation: Losing a head of steam by drinking decaf coffee.
11:12 AM · Feb 11, 2010·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
Mark Reid
@mdreid
Decafitation (n.): The sudden cutting off of one’s caffeine supply.
5:53 PM · Dec 14, 2010·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
David D. Levine
@daviddlevine
Is the process of removing the caffeine from coffee “decafitation”?
11:57 AM · Nov 9, 2011·Echofon
Twitter
Drew Snider
@drewdsnider
Replying to @BurnabyNOW_News
@BurnabyNOW_News that’s called “decafitation” - until you’ve had that 1st coffee, you can’t get your head into things! 😊
1:31 PM · Jan 30, 2012·TweetDeck
Urban Dictionary
Decaf-itationdrugs
A sudden, gruesome event following self-inflicted caffeine deprivation.
Man, don’t go cold turkey on that java; you risk decaf-itation
#coffee#decaf#caffeine#beheading#cold turkey
by OriginalRobbo February 01, 2012
Twitter
Mike Hudson
@MikeHudsonSays
Replying to @CoryORoute66
@CBCCory Possibly. The Mel Nation dictionary says -
Decafitation - Losing ones head after dropping an extra large double double.
9:02 AM · May 29, 2013·Twitter Web App
Urban Dictionary
decafitate
The sudden urge to poo that is instigated by the consumption of coffee or other caffeine based products.
Ie: to caffeinate oneself and then immediately deficate. Decafitate.
This morning, I drank a double espresso, then I decafitated.
#decaffitate#decafatate#coffee poo#crappucino#laxative#coffee enema
by Trumpleton Parpsworth November 28, 2013
Reddit—3amjokes
Posted by u/michaelelder June 26, 2015
How do executioners like their coffee?
Decap.
COMMENTS
Sbatio
Decaf-itated or Decap-inated are both funnier.
Twitter
Noah Katz
@katz_noah
How do executioners like their coffee?
-Decap
#IllBeHereAllWeek
11:31 AM · Jun 26, 2015 from Princeton Junction, NJ·Twitter for iPhone
Twitter
Januaryour heart on your sleeve
@sPunDoctor
Replying to @dinfowars and @dintrification
hot takes about cold brews are grounds for beheading/decafitation
4:01 PM · Jan 19, 2018·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
Toby ❄☃️🐅❄
@twn1701b
How do French executioners like their coffee?
Decapitated.
#joke #badjoke
10:08 PM · Sep 24, 2019·Twitter for Android
LaffGaff
By laffgaff December 30, 2019
Coffee Bean Joke
How do you kill a coffee bean?
By decaf-itation.
Twitter
COOKIE and BEAN
@CookieandBean
Coffee Bean
How do you kill a coffee bean?
By decaf-itation.
The post Coffee Bean appeared first on LaffGaff, Home Of Fun And Laughter.
reposted by
Cookie and Bean Distribution #humor #funny
9:35 AM · Dec 31, 2019·IFTTT
Twitter
GeorgeMclain30
@GMclain30
Joke of the day:How do you kill a coffee bean?
By decaf-itation. Have a great day friendz.
1:57 PM · Jan 6, 2020·Twitter Web App