Croutoff (crouton + off)
There are salad croutons, but no croutoffs. There are several jokes, such as “crouton, croutoff” (like “clap on, clap off” of The Clapper, and “wax on, wax off” from the 1984 film The Karate Kid).
“You cannot have croutons without croutoffs. In the same way you cannot have light without dark. Oil without vinegar” was posted on Twitter by Scotty A on September 25, 2009. “The server at Eat’n Park gave me my salad with croutons, even though I specifically asked for it with croutoffs” was posted on Twitter by Downtown Ryan on September 4, 2011.
“If I don’t want croutons on my salad are they croutoffs?” was posted on Twitter by It’s J.J. on September 8, 2012. “If you have a salad with croutons on the side are they called croutOFFS #Puns #LameJoke” was posted on Twitter by Clarke Newton on June 14, 2015. “If you remove croutons from your salad are they then called… - dennys: croutoffs?” was posted on Twitter by Mayor on September 16, 2016. “if you remove croutons from your salad are they then called…croutoffs?” was posted on Twitter by Denny’s on November 3, 2016, and again on Twitter by Denny’s on March 15, 2018. “If you take croutons off of your salad we eat them, shouldn’t you call them croutoffs?” was posted on Twitter by young bubbe on April 10, 2018.
“‘Crouton, croutoff.’-The Karatoast Kid” was posted on Twitter by Tim on December 2, 2013. “French Mr Miyagi: Croûton, Croûtoff” was posted on Twitter by Dr Pessimus Prime, rat edition 🐀 on May 8, 2020.
“Crouton! (clap, clap) Croutoff! (clap, clap) Crouton, Croutoff, the, uh, Croutonerer” was posted on Twitter by D_H on February 9, 2014. “Crouton *clap clap* croutoff” was posted on Twitter by srah on December 25, 2014. “Crouton. 👏🏻 👏🏻 Croutoff. 👏🏻 👏🏻 Crouton. Croutoff. The Salad” was posted on Twitter by BeefCougar on August 31, 2021.
“I’m well aware that people eat croutons but I don’t understand what the uncooked version is, they cal it croutoffs?? I didn’t know where to put this information 😊” was posted on Twitter by Jonny on July 9, 2020. “This salad has been in the fridge too long that the croutons became soggy and are now croutoffs” was posted on Twitter by Space Ghoul on October 26, 2020. “Bit of fuss down at the patent office today - my patent for croutons that are soft, which I called croutoffs, has been rejected. Apparently somebody has beaten me to it with something called ‘bread’, whatever that is” was posted on Twitter by Alison Selby on July 6, 2021.
“crouton implies the existence of croutoff ... much to think about” was posted on Twitter by bria on January 2, 2020. “If there’s a croûton then there must be a croûtoff” was posted on Twitter by Yoav on December 8, 2020. “The fact croutons exist implies the existence of croutoffs” was posted on Twitter by John rost on July 13, 2022. “Croutons imply the existence of croutoffs” was posted on Twitter by “whitest sox u’know 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️” on July 10, 2023.
Wikipedia: Crouton
A crouton /ˈkruːtɒn/ is a piece of toasted or fried bread, normally cubed and seasoned. Croutons are used to add texture and flavor to salads—notably the Caesar salad — as an accompaniment to soups and stews, or eaten as a snack food.
Wikipedia: The Clapper
The Clapper is a sound-activated electrical switch, sold since 1984 by San Francisco, California based Joseph Enterprises, Inc. Joseph Pedott marketed the clapper with the slogan “Clap On! Clap Off! The Clapper!”.
The Karate Kid Wiki: Wax On, Wax Off
Wax On, Wax Off is a defensive technique taught to beginners learning Miyagi-Do Karate.
Twitter
Scotty A
@ferretface
#1tweetessay You cannot have croutons without croutoffs. In the same way you cannot have light without dark. Oil without vinegar.
4:50 PM · Sep 25, 2009
Twitter
Downtown Ryan
@Downtown_Ryan
The server at Eat’n Park gave me my salad with croutons, even though I specifically asked for it with croutoffs.
1:19 PM · Sep 4, 2011
Twitter
Greg Janda
@GregJanda
@JessieJessup “Salad Philosophy?” How zen. #crouton-croutoff
9:11 PM · Apr 25, 2012
Twitter
It’s J.J.
@JJChinal
If I don’t want croutons on my salad are they croutoffs?
4:03 AM · Sep 8, 2012
Twitter
carthu’s “gf”
@senpaishan
crouton
croutoff
11:21 PM · Jul 9, 2013
Twitter
Tim @stripes@mstdn.io
@burgotastic
“Crouton, croutoff.”
-The Karatoast Kid
3:19 AM · Dec 2, 2013
Twitter
D_H
@Pseudoacacia
Crouton! (clap, clap) Croutoff! (clap, clap) Crouton, Croutoff, the, uh, Croutonerer.
5:45 PM · Feb 9, 2014
Twitter
srah
@preslicedbagel
Crouton *clap clap* croutoff @zoe_link
9:28 PM · Dec 25, 2014
Twitter
Clarke Newton
@ClarkeBNewt
If you have a salad with croutons on the side are they called croutOFFS #Puns #LameJoke
7:37 PM · Jun 14, 2015
Twitter
Mayor
@MayorDonavan
If you remove croutons from your salad are they then called… - dennys: croutoffs? I hate this https://tmblr.co/ZGxtgm2CBZGAe
10:01 PM · Sep 16, 2016
Twitter
Denny’s
@DennysDiner
if you remove croutons from your salad are they then called…
croutoffs?
2:50 PM · Nov 3, 2016
Twitter
theheatherslife
@theheatherslife
“If you remove croutons from your salad are they then called….. croutoffs?” - @DennysDiner
#ineedthewritersofdennystweetstobemyfriendnow
12:17 AM · Feb 2, 2017
Twitter
Chris Dudenbostel
@chriskindafit
If you remove the croutons from your salad, then are they called croutoffs?
5:33 PM · Jul 25, 2017
Twitter
Denny’s
@DennysDiner
if you remove croutons from your salad are they then called…
croutoffs?
2:17 PM · Mar 15, 2018
Twitter
young bubbe
@youngbubbe
If you take croutons off of your salad we eat them, shouldn’t you call them croutoffs?
This tweet was inspired by @hannnnahbeforew
8:42 PM · Apr 10, 2018
Twitter
bria 🪷
@briagoesblah
crouton implies the existence of croutoff ... much to think about
12:30 AM · Jan 2, 2020
Twitter
Danny Ocean
@DannyOcean
Why does salad come with croutons but not croutoffs?
10:30 AM · Jan 17, 2020
Tiwtter
Dr Pessimus Prime, rat edition 🐀
@BigJDubz
French Mr Miyagi: Croûton, Croûtoff
6:05 AM · May 8, 2020
Twitter
Jonny
@jonnyhall__
I’m well aware that people eat croutons but I don’t understand what the uncooked version is, they cal it croutoffs?? I didn’t know where to put this information 😊
9:06 PM · Jul 9, 2020
Twitter
Space Ghoul
@RRettell
This salad has been in the fridge too long that the croutons became soggy and are now croutoffs.
12:10 PM · Oct 26, 2020
Twitter
Yoav
@YoavCodes
If there’s a croûton then there must be a croûtoff.
6:36 PM · Dec 8, 2020
Twitter
Alison Selby
@AlisonSelby_
Bit of fuss down at the patent office today - my patent for croutons that are soft, which I called croutoffs, has been rejected. Apparently somebody has beaten me to it with something called “bread”, whatever that is.
7:46 AM · Jul 6, 2021
Twitter
BeefCougar
@BeefCougar
Crouton. 👏🏻 👏🏻 Croutoff. 👏🏻 👏🏻 Crouton. Croutoff. The Salad.
1:41 PM · Aug 31, 2021
Twitter
TJ O’Shea
@Tary_n
Only croutON, never croutOFF!
12:27 PM · Nov 18, 2021
Twitter
John Frost
@JohnFrost
The fact croutons exist implies the existence of croutoffs.
6:27 PM · Jul 13, 2022
Twitter
projectyl
@projectyl
potential names for things that are bad at being croutons:
-croutoffs
-crinons
i hope this helps
10:07 PM · Mar 27, 2023
Twitter
whitest sox u’know 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
@flannelGoddess
Croutons imply the existence of croutoffs
12:28 PM · Jul 10, 2023