“Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolates. They’ll kill your dog”

“Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get” is a famous line from the movie Forrest Gump (1994). Many people love chocolate, but it can kill dogs.
     
“Life is like a box of chocolates: Eventually it will kill your dog” was cited on Twitter on January 25, 2012.
   
“Police are like a box of chocolates….. They will kill your dog” was cited on Twitter on December 19, 2013. “Why is a cop like a box of chocolates? They’ll kill your dog” was posted on Reddit—Jokes on January 22, 2015. “Cops are like a box of chocolates. They’ll kill your dog” was posted on Twitter by 𝗝𝗼𝗲́𝗹 on January 27, 2015.
   
“Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolate. They’ll kill your dog” was posted on Reddit—Jokes on November 1, 2014.
   
     
Wiktionary: life is like a box of chocolates
Etymology
Appeared in the 1994 film Forrest Gump, when the lead character Forrest Gump (played by Tom Hanks) says “Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”
 
The book Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami, first published in Japanese in 1987, and in English in 1989, has the following: “Just remember, life is like a box of chocolates.” ... “You know, they’ve got these chocolate assortments, and you like some but you don’t like others? And you eat all the ones you like, and the only ones left are the ones you don’t like as much? I always think about that when something painful comes up. “Now I just have to polish these off, and everything’ll be OK.’ Life is a box of chocolates.”
 
Proverb
life is like a box of chocolates

1. Life is full of surprises; you never know what will happen next.
 
petparents
Can chocolate really kill your dog?
Thursday, October 6, 2011
(...)
Just like some of us are “addicted” to chocolate, dogs can be, too. But the flavor they’re responding to is actually theobromine, a toxic substance found in chocolate.
 
When a dog eats chocolate, theobromine metabolizes slowly, staying in his or her system for up to 20 hours. In the meantime, theobromine interferes with the normal functioning of the central nervous system, heart and kidneys.
 
Without appropriate treatment, this could lead to death. So be careful about letting your dog have any amount of chocolate—once your dog has a taste for it, you’ll have a much harder time keeping him or her away.
 
Twitter
Heather Hildreth
@_Heathrawr_
RT @SamGrittner Life is like a box of chocolates: Eventually it will kill your dog.
11:31 PM - 25 Jan 2012
 
Twitter
Centamass
@Centamass
Police are like a box of chocolates….. They will kill your dog. Lol
9:37 AM · Dec 19, 2013·Facebook
 
Reddit—Jokes
Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolate (self.Jokes)
submitted November 1, 2014 by Webster1293
They’ll kill your dog
 
Twitter
Blackbeard
@TheBisut
“Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolates. They’ll kill your dog.”
6:51 PM - 1 Nov 2014
 
Washington (DC) Post
‘Obamacare for the Internet’? Net neutrality, Ted Cruz, and the danger of bad analogies
By Alexandra Petri November 10, 2014
(...)
Analogies can be made about anything. Life is not remotely like a box of chocolates, except in the sense that both will eventually kill your dog.
     
Twitter
MUTEMATH
@MUTEMATH
Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolates…
They’ll kill your dog.
#BadJokeMonday
@DKtheDrummer
10:43 PM · Dec 1, 2014·Twitter for iPhone
 
Reddit—Jokes
Why is a cop like a box of chocolates? (self.Jokes)
submitted January 22, 2015 by [deleted]
They’ll kill your dog.
     
Twitter
𝗝𝗼𝗲́𝗹
@_spacetree
Cops are like a box of chocolates. They’ll kill your dog.
12:38 AM · Jan 27, 2015·Twitter Web Client
 
Facebook
We Are Change Texas Hill Country via Cop Block
April 22, 2015 ·
Cops are like a box of chocolates , they’ll kill your dog !!
   
Twitter   
Stumbler Videos
@StumblerVideos
Crazy girlfriends are like a box of chocolates.
They can kill your dog.
10:01 PM · Aug 10, 2015·Twitter for Android
   
Google Groups: soc.retirement
Police Are Like a Box of Chocolates
Jack Fate
9/23/17
They will kill your dog.
 
Twitter
Intense Gasping Doggo
@DoggoTime8
Replying to @CaseyExplosion
the police are like a box of chocolates: they’ll probably kill your dog.
11:00 AM · Feb 4, 2020·TweetDeck
 
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/pingyuluo March 29, 2020
Police are like a box of chocolates….
They’ll kill your dog.