“Can’t dance and it’s too wet to plow”
"Can't dance and it's too wet to plow" means the same as "might as well" (that is, there's nothing else one can do). The phrase is cited in Ken Kesey's…
Buildings/Housing/Parks
“Can’t even rob Peter to pay Paul anymore… Peter ain’t got it either”
"Can't even rob Peter to pay Paul anymore... Peter ain't got it either" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "To rob Peter to pay Paul" is an old saying…
“Can’t fight his way out of a paper bag”
A boxer who "can't fight/hit/punch his way out of a paper bag" is a very poor fighter. "From his appearance, one wouldn't think he was husky enough to punch his way out of…
“Can’t find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly”
"Can't find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly" is a jocular one-line saying about wifi that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on…
“Can’t hit the broad side of a barn” (baseball saying)
A marksman who "can't hit the broad side (broadside) of a barn" is a very poor marksman. "You can't hit the broadside of a barn!" was cited in print in 1852. The idiom…
“Can’t rub two nickels together” (poor)
A person who "can't rub two pennies/nickels/dimes/quarters/dollars together" is a person who doesn't have much money. "Not in a position to rub two pennies together"…
“Can’t wait to make a huge Thanksgiving dinner so my child can eat one roll”
Many people prepare a huge Thanksgiving feast, but one person (usually a daughter) doesn't eat much. "Pretty excited about making a huge Thanksgiving feast so my daughter can eat a…
“Can’t wait until they legalize outside”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to be quarantined in their homes. "Stay at home" was frequently advised. "can’t wait til they legalize outside" was…
“Can’t believe they let just anyone make babies but you gotta have a license to fucking fish”
"Can’t believe they let just anyone make babies but you gotta have a license to fucking fish" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The actor Keanu Reeves said in the…
“Can’t wait for the day I walk down the aisle and hear those magical words: ‘Captain speaking…’”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic restricted air travel, and many people couldn't wait to be in an airplane again. "Can't wait to walk down the aisle someday... and hear those…
“Can’t wait til they legalize outside”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to be quarantined in their homes. "Stay at home" was frequently advised. "can’t wait til they legalize outside" was…
“Can’t wait til tomorrow. I have another big day of hand washing & looking out the window planned”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many people quarantining themselves in their homes. Boredom resulted. "I slept 14 hours last night absolutely locked and fuckin loaded for a big…
“Can’t wait till they legalize outside”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to be quarantined in their homes. "Stay at home" was frequently advised. "can’t wait til they legalize outside" was…
“Can’t wait to get off work, then I can finally stop staring at this damn computer…”
A joke about work is: "Can’t wait to get off work—then I can finally stop staring at this damn computer, and go stare at a different computer." The line was posted on Twitter by Colin…
“Canada Dry implies the existence of Canada Moist”
Canada Dry is a brand of soft drinks, especially famous for its ginger ale. There is no "Canada Wet" or "Canada Moist," but there are jokes. "not to freak you out or…
“Canada Dry implies the existence of Canada Wet”
Canada Dry is a brand of soft drinks, especially famous for its ginger ale. There is no "Canada Wet" or "Canada Moist," but there are jokes. "not to freak you out or…
“Canadian buffet. All Yukon eat”
"Yukon" sounds like "you can," and there are "All Yukon Eat" jokes. "Alaskan Crab Legs (...) ALL YUKON EAT!!" was in an advertisement in the Daily Press…
“Canadian Mallomars are called Whippets”
Mallomars are cookies, first introduced in 1913 by Nabisco, with a graham cracker base topped with marshmallow, and coated with dark chocolate. The chocolate melted in the summer, and the product…
“Canapé. Scottish for, I don’t have the money”
"Canapé" can sound like "can not pay." "What did the Scotsman say when he didn’t have the money for his Hors d'oeuvre bill? I canapé" was posted on Twitter by…
“Cancel culture was created because the left cannot survive in a marketplace of free ideas”
Many people, especially on the right/conservative side, have objected to cancel culture. A joke or remark that some people find offensive--but many do not find offensive--not only cancels the joke,…