“Baseball is wrong. A man with four balls cannot walk”
“Baseball is wrong. A man with 4 balls cannot walk” is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Many versions have this as a “Confucius say” mock Chinese proverb.
“Yeah, well, he (Confucius—ed.) also said that baseball was impossible because no one could walk with four balls” was printed in the book The Doomsday Exercise (1989) by Bart Davis.
“Confucious Say: (...) Baseball very funny game—man with 4 balls no can walk!!” was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on October 25, 1991. “Confucius say: (...) Baseball very funny game—man with 4 balls no can walk!!” was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on January 26, 1993. “Confucius Say (...) Baseball very funny game - man with four balls no can walk” was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on December 19, 1994.
“Confucius say: (...) Baseball very strange game. How can man with 4 balls walk?” was posted on the newsgroup alt.tasteless.jokes on March 31, 1996. “Confucius say:(...) Baseball very strange game… how can man with 4 balls walk?” was posted on the newsgroup alt.games.ultima-online on April 10, 1998.
“Confucious say: Baseball wrong. Man with 4 balls cannot walk” was posted on the newsgroup k12.ed.comp.literacy on October 17, 1994. “Canonical Collection of ‘CONFUCIUS SAY’ Wisdom (...) ‘Baseball is wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk!’” was posted on the newsgroup alt.tasteless.jokes on March 4, 1995.
There are non-Confucius versions. “Baseball is wrong. A man with four balls can not walk” was posted on the newsgroup alt.teston May 23, 1994. “Baseball is wrong, a man with four balls cannot walk” was posted on Twitter by Colm Kieranon March 24, 2009. “Baseball is wrong. A man with 4 balls cannot walk” was posted on Twitter by Aaron Wirth on April 7, 2009.
Google Books
The Doomsday Exercise
By Bart Davis
New York, NY: Bantam Books
1989
Pg. 23:
“Who said that, Confucius?”
“As a matter of fact, yes.“
“Yeah, well, he also said that baseball was impossible because no one could walk with four balls. I say fuck him.”
Google Groups: rec.humor
confucius say (was re
Daniel L Joines
Oct 25, 1991, 6:55:53 PM
(...)
Confucious Say:
(...)
Baseball very funny game—man with 4 balls no can walk!!
Google Groups: rec.humor
Confucious?
.(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
Feb 6, 1992, 12:17:02 PM
(...)
Baseball very funny game—man with 4 balls no can walk!!
Google Groups: rec.humor
Canonical List of Confusciusisms
Andrew L. Roberts
Jan 26, 1993, 8:47:07 AM
Confucius say:
==============
Woman who cooks beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Baseball very funny game—man with 4 balls no can walk!!
Google Groups: alt.test
TEST MSG
.(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
May 23, 1994, 6:41:39 PM
Sent on May 23rd 1994
* RM 1.2 * Eval Day 5 * Baseball is wrong. A man with four balls can not walk.
Google Groups: k12.ed.comp.literacy
FreeNet
Larry Phillips
Oct 17, 1994, 3:05:00 PM
TW>Does anyone have any FreeNet #s for the 403 area code?
TW>... Confucious say: Baseball wrong. Man with 4 balls cannot walk.
Google Groups: rec.humor
Confucious sayings
Costa Savva
Dec 19, 1994, 12:49:16 PM
(...)
Confucius Say
(...)
Baseball very funny game - man with four balls no can walk.
Google Groups: alt.tasteless.jokes
Confucius Say
Robert Nykvist
Mar 4, 1995, 7:39:52 PM
(...)
Canonical Collection of “CONFUCIUS SAY” Wisdom
=====================================================
Last Updated: 3/3/95 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
(...)
66. “Baseball is wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk!”
Google Groups: alt.tasteless.jokes
I need lots of ‘Confucius Say’ jokes
Leo Parry
Mar 31, 1996, 3:00:00 AM
Confucius say:
(...)
. Baseball very strange game. How can man with 4 balls walk?
Google Groups: soc.culture.korean
I declare this day (Feb 26/97) to be the worst post day
Joji148
Mar 8, 1997, 3:00:00 AM
(...)
Confucious say:
(...)
9. Baseball wrong: Man with four balls cannot walk.
Google Groups: alt.tasteless.jokes
confusious says…
B.E.Corkran
Mar 31, 1997, 3:00:00 AM
(...)
Confucius say:
(...)
Baseball very strange game. How can man with 4 balls walk?
Google Books
Unbelievably Gross Jokes
Vol. XXVII
By Julius Alvin
New York, NY : Kensington Publishing Corporation
1998
Pg. 137:
CONFUCIUS SAY:
(...)
2. ... Baseball all wrong - man with four balls can’t walk.
Google Groups: alt.games.ultima-online
TO ALL THE WHINERS AND LOSERS, WHO HATE AND BITCH ABOUT PK’S
Del Boy
Apr 10, 1998, 3:00:00 AM
(...)
Confucius say:
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
(...)
Baseball very strange game… how can man with 4 balls walk?
Google Books
Dr. Speedy’s Jokes and Riddles:
Laughter Is the Best Medicine
by Dr. Speedy Gonzalez
Pg. 180:
Confucious say…Baseball wrong…man with four balls cannot walk!
Google Books
Unscheduled Arrival
By Mike Barbuti
San Jose, CA: Writers Club Press
2000
Pg. 176:
he removed it with trembling hands and broke it open, the fortune read: “BASEBALL IS WRONG, MAN WITH FOUR BALLS CANNOT WALK”.
Google Books
My Little Bit of Nonsense
By Charlie Walker
Wakefield, UK: C. Walker
2000
Pg. 4 (Chinese Proverbs):
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
Newspapers.com
9 August 2000, Reno (NV) Gazette-Journal, pg. ? ad:
Confucius Say:
Baseball is wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk.
(Kung Food restaurant.—ed.)
Google Groups: soc.culture.venezuela
Proverbios Chinos
*OSA*BOGADA*
Dec 12, 2003, 7:36:33 PM
CHINESE PROVERBS
(...)
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
Google Books
Cooperstown:
A Novel
By Eugena Pilek
New York, NY: Touchstone
2005
Pg. 183:
“Confucius say: ‘Baseball wrong—man with four balls cannot walk.’”
16 November 2007, Jakarta (Indonesia) Post, “Amusing sayings from around the world,” pg. 1:
Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk..
Twitter
i am ren
@ariantibbs
Confucius say: “Baseball is wrong - man with four balls cannot walk”
1:29 PM · Apr 9, 2008·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
Muhammed Ali ‘Mali’ J
@MaliZomg
RT @BRY237: “Baseball has it all wrong—a man with four balls cannot walk”.
11:08 AM · Mar 3, 2009·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
Colm Kieran
@Colm_s_k
Baseball is wrong, a man with four balls cannot walk.
9:25 PM · Mar 24, 2009·Twitter Web Client
Twitter
Aaron Wirth
@awirthy
Baseball is wrong. A man with 4 balls cannot walk.
3:57 AM · Apr 7, 2009·Twitter Web Client
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/MelkorHimself February 27, 2016
Confucius say…
Baseball is wrong! Man with four balls cannot walk!
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/detecting_guru November 21, 2016
Confucius Says
Baseball is wrong. Man with 4 balls cannot walk.
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/blunt420trauma April 24, 2017
Confucius say, “American baseball is wrong”...
“man with four balls cannot walk”
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/detecting_guru November 7, 2020
Confucius Says
Baseball is wrong. Man with 4 balls cannot walk
Reddit—3amjokes
Posted by u/RealHumanNotCatfish January 10, 2021
Baseball has it all wrong….
A person with 4 balls cannot walk