“A new supermarket opened near my house…” (joke)
A long joke begins that a new supermarket has opened near the speaker. The supermarket has a variety of smells and sounds—an automatic water mister for the produce, the sound of cows mooing at the milk cases, the sound of hens clucking and cackling at the egg cases, and the smell of freshly buttered corn at the veggie department. The last line is the punchline: “I don’t buy toilet paper there any more.”
The joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.sports.football.pro.oak-raiders on August 16, 2006.
Google Groups: alt.sports.football.pro.oak-raiders
OT: Thought you supermarket shoppers would enjoy this.
Nightcrawler
Aug 16, 2006, 10:04:31 PM
The new supermarket near our house has an automatic water mister to keep the
produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder
and the smell of fresh rain.
When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness the scent
of fresh hay.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is
filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.
I don’t buy toilet paper there any more.
Google Groups: alt.weemba
New Supermarket(joke)
Mary Jane
Aug 19, 2006, 9:02:56 PM
The new supermarket near my house has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness the scent of fresh hay.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.
I don’t buy toilet paper there any more.
Google Groups: g/f-u-n
Fairly Universal Nonsense for October 22, 2006
J NA
Oct 22, 2006, 3:56:30 PM
(...)
The new Supermarket near our house has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness the scent of fresh hay.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.
I don’t buy toilet paper there any more.
24 December 2011, Gympie (Queensland) Times, “Wake Up and Laugh,” pg. 2:
A NEW supermarket opened near my house. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of freshly mown hay.
In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The bread department features the tantalising smell of fresh baked bread and cookies.
I don’t buy toilet paper there any more.
-K. Faye
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/gab0607 June 8, 2016
A new Supermarket opened near me…..
A new supermarket opened near my house.
It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh.
And, just before the mister turns on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and experience the scent of fresh hay.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying on the stove.
The veggie department features the smell of freshly buttered corn.
I don’t buy toilet paper there anymore
Twitter
Col
@countcol
They have a water mister to keep fruit fresh. Cows moo in the milk aisle. Hens cluck at the eggs etc. I don’t buy toilet paper there though.
3:01 PM · Jun 13, 2017
,a href=“https://twitter.com/williamkozy/status/930660118752124928”>Twitter
William Kozy
@williamkozy
A new supermarket opened. In the milk section, you hear cows mooing and smell fresh hay. In the meat dept… the aroma of grilled steaks. The sound of hens clucking in the egg section w/ smell of omelets. Warm cookie aroma in bread area. I don’t buy toilet paper there anymore.
11:53 PM · Nov 14, 2017
Twitter
10sMedic4U
@WmTJMiller
fresh hay.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle , and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.
I don’t buy toilet paper there anymore
9:04 PM · Jan 27, 2020 from Indianapolis, IN
Twitter
Clem Fandango in Albatraz
@ColonyScotland
and there’s a scent of fresh hay. When you approach the eggs, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying. The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.
I don’t buy toilet paper there any more.
6:35 PM · May 5, 2020
Twitter
Tony Letts
@TonyLetts
Our supermarket has had a makeover.
When you pass the milk, you smell fresh hay.
By the meat there is the aroma of grilled steak. Near the eggs is the smell of bacon and eggs frying. The bakery has the aroma of fresh baked bread.
I don’t buy toilet paper there anymore
6:48 AM · Sep 7, 2020
Twitter
DICK ii🩸 〓〓 🇬🇧🏴☠️Happiness Love
@KernowKoth
Our sprmkt
Auto water mist to keep the produce fresh
At the milk cases, there is mooing
Meat department aroma of charcoal grilled steaks
Egg dept you hear hens cluck and smell of bacon and eggs
Bread dept smell of fresh baked bread n pasty
I don’t buy toilet paper there anymore https://twitter.com/RenownVet01/status/1486330047204110343
This Tweet was deleted by the Tweet author. Learn more
8:45 AM · Jan 26, 2022
Twitter
Alison Nicolson-Rae
@Nicolsonraea
A new supermarket opened. It has a special water mister to keep the produce fresh. Buy milk, you hear cows mooing & get the scent of fresh hay. Buy eggs, you hear hens cluck & smell eggs frying. The veggie department smells of fresh corn.
I don’t buy toilet paper there any more
12:25 AM · Sep 4, 2022
Facebook
im not right in the head.com added a new photo to the album: NOT RIGHT SUPERMARKET.
April 30, 2023 at 9:06 PM ·
Shared by Finian McLonergan
(The following text is shown on an image.—ed.)
A new supermarket opened near my house. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain. When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and experience the scent of fresh hay. When you approach the egg case, you hear the hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying. The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn. I don’t buy toilet paper there any more.