“A bear walks into a bar in Billings… (bar joke)
“A guy walks into a bar…” is a typical form of what has been called the “bar joke.” “A bear walks into a bar in Burnaby/Billings/Butte” is a popular joke that has alliteration and ends with a pun.
“This bear walks into a bar and he asks for a beer” (the joke without alliteration) was cited in print in 1993. “A Bear walks into a bar in Burnaby, B.C.” was cited in 1995 and “A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana” was cited in 2000.
Google Groups: rec.humor
Canonical Outrageous Country Song List
Clinton James
5/25/93
Guy walks into a bar
ok this bear walks into a bar and he asks for a beer. bartemder the nsays sorry we dont serve bears here. so the bear walks off and returns an hour later.
The bear plonks himself down on the seat and says give me a beer
bar tender says sorry but we dont serve angry bears here.
and a minute later the bear slams his fist down on the bar and shouts give me a bloody beer!
the bartender then says. sorry we dont serve bears that are angry and swwear!
then feeling quite frustrated with things, the bear then takes a big bite out of the bar.
and then demands GIVE ME A BLOODY BEER!
bar tender says . sorry we dont serve bears that are angry, that swear and that are on drugs.
the bear says. what do you mean ‘on drugs’?
bartender then says.. well look at the bar bit you ate 😊 “barbituate” 😊
Google Groups: rec.humor
Alliteration Ho!
Brian Hitchlock
1/3/95
Old punch line ... different pitch, best told very fast
A Bear walks into a bar in Burnaby, B.C.
The Bear walks up to the bar and says: “Bartender, Bring me a Beer!”.
The Bartender looks at the Bear and says: ” I’m sorry we don’t serve beers to
bears in bars in Burnaby, B.C.”
The Bear says: “Well I want a beer bud, best bring it!”
“I’m sorry we don’t serve beers to bears in bars in Burnaby,B.C.”
The Bear says: “Bartender, see that broad at the end of the bar?”
“You mean the beautiful babe with the big boobs in the blue blouse?”
“Yeah, now bring me a beer or that broad’ll be my brunch!”
“I’m sorry, we don’t serve beers to bears in bars in Burnaby, B.C.”
So the Bear walks down the bar, creeps up behing the woman and <*CHOMP*>
eats
her whole.
“Now” says the Bear “bring me my beer”
“I’m sorry we don’t serve beers to bears and bars in Burnaby, B.C., and
besides, you don’t need one.”
“What do you mean?”
“That was a Barbituate.”
Google Groups: za.humour
A drunk walks into a bar ................
Dave Lavictoire
2/25/97
So this bear walks into a bar, sidles up to the counter, and orders a beer. The bartender looks up and says, ‘Sorry, we don’t serve bears here.’
The bear gets a little miffed. ‘I said, I’d like a beer, please.’
The bartender says, ‘Look, buddy, I told you we don’t serve bears.’
By now the bear is right pissed off, and he says, ‘Listen. If’n you don’t give me a beer right now, I’m gonna go eat that cranky old woman at the other end of the bar.’
The bartender coolly replies, ‘You do what you need to do, pal.’
So bear jumps up and eats the cranky old woman. Wiping his mouth, he snarls, ‘Now, ya gonna give me a beer?’
The bartender says, ‘Nope, we don’t serve druggies in here.’
Confused, the bear says, ‘Huh?’
The bartender explains, ‘Well, that was the bar bitch you ate.’
Ye Olde Brew News (May 2000)
Fermental Funnies
Bob Barrett
...Saw this on the HBD site.
A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, “We don’t serve beer to bears in bars in Billings.”
The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, “We don’t serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings.”
The bear, very angry now, says, “If you don’t serve me a beer, I’m going to eat that lady sitting at the
The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings.”
The bear goes to the end of the bar, and as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer. The bartender states, “Sorry, we don’t serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs.”
The bear says, “I’m not on drugs.”
The bartender says, “You are now. That was a barbitchyouate.”
Google Groups: alt.happy.valley
beetle
Aries
1/26/03
(...)
A bear walks into a bar in Butte, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, “We don’t serve beer to bears in bars in Butte,”
The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, “We don’t serve beer to belligerent bar bears in Butte,”
The bear, very angry now, says, “If you don’t serve me a beer, I’m going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar.”
The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Butte,”
The bear goes to the end of the bar, and as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer. The bartender states, “Sorry, we don’t serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Butte that are on drugs!”
The bear says, “I’m not on drugs!”
The bartender says, “You are now. That was a barbitchyouate.”
Google Books
All Kinds of Humor:
Jokes, Quips, and Fun Stuff for Many Occasions, Over Forty Categories, Book 1
By Frank Verano
Xlibris Corporation (Xlibris.com)
2012
Pg. 9:
A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana, and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.
The bartender approaches and says, “We don’t serve beer to bears in bars in Billings.”
The bear becomes angry and again demands that he be served a beer.
The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, “We don’t serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings.”
The bear, very angry now, says, “If you don’t serve me a beer, I’m going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar.”
The bartender says,“Sorry, we don’t serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings.”
The bear goes to the end of the bar and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a bear.
The bartender states, “Sorry, we don’t serve bear to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs.”
The bear says, “I’m not on drugs.”
The bartender says, “You are now. That was a barbitchyouate.”