This site is edited by Barry Popik.

The Lone Star State. An etymological dictionary investigating the origins of Texas words, names, quotations and phrases, specializing in modern slang, nicknames, slogans, proverbs, adages and aphorisms. A web site by Barry Popik.

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“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” (12/2)
“If it can’t be found in Dallas, it can’t be found anywhere in the world” (6/1)
“If it doesn’t say ‘Texas,’ it’s not Texas Roadhouse” (restaurant slogan) (11/27)
“If it grows, it will stick you; If it crawls, it will bite you” (7/15)
“If it looks like a taco and smells like a fish…” (Fuzzy’s Taco Shop in Fort Worth) (6/18)
“If it’s inevitable, relax and enjoy it” (said of Texas weather) (8/28)
“If Texas saw many, many more tornadoes, it would be called “Vortexas’” (3/1)
“If the good Lord’s willin’ (and the creeks don’t rise)” (2/22)
“If worms carried pistols, birds wouldn’t eat ‘em” (8/23)
“If you ain’t from Texas, you’re a Yankee” (3/19)
“If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bullets” (8/9)
“If you can’t take their money…and vote against them, you don’t belong in the legislature” (10/27)
“If you cut Alaska in half, Texas is the third largest state” (9/6)
“If you don’t have an oil well, get one!” (Eddie Chiles of Western Company) (8/22)
“If you don’t like our wings, we’ll give you the bird” (Pluckers) (3/13)
“If you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes” (weather saying) (8/9)
“If you know beans about chili, you know that chili has no beans” (1976) (9/22)
“If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas” (9/22)
“If you see a turtle on a fence, he had help getting there” (11/19)
“If you snooze, you lose” (8/20)
“If you think you can, you can” (Mary Kay Ash?) (9/24)
“If you took all the fools out of the Lege, it wouldn’t be a representative body” (10/28)
“In queso emergency, go to your nearest TexMex restaurant” (5/21)
“In queso emergency, I pray to Cheesus” (5/21)
“In Texas we salt margaritas, not sidewalks” (8/19)
“In Texas, ‘hot yoga’ is just called ‘yoga’” (7/13)
“In Texas, all yoga is hot yoga” (6/22)
“In Texas, the shade is just diet sun” (7/8)
“In Texas, the shortest distance between two points is likely under construction” (5/27)
“In the South, shade is just diet sun” (7/8)
“Ingredients for Life” & “Your Remarkable Store” (Randalls slogans) (9/7)
“Isn’t Texas cute?” (Alaskan T-shirt) (9/21)
“It always rains at the end of a long dry spell” (weather joke) (10/24)
“It doesn’t matter how much milk you spill, as long as you don’t lose the cow” (8/9)
“It looks like a toothpick in a pie” (J. Frank Dobie on UT tower) (8/22)
“It’s 110 degrees, but it’s a dry heat” (Texas heat joke) (8/17)
“It’s a good book, but everyone gets killed in the end” (Pete Gent on Dallas Cowboys playbook) (10/1)
“It’s a Texas Thing” (“It’s a Texas Thang”) (1/26)
“It’s always better to be a pallbearer than to be a body” (11/16)
“It’s been one hell of a party” (Larry McMurtry’s “Lonesome Dove”) (10/7)
“It’s better to have lived in Texas and moved than to never have lived here at all” (2/4)
“It’s More Bueno” (Taco Bueno) (6/30)
“It’s often hard to discern the difference between Texas Tough and Texas Stupid” (Molly Ivins) (7/11)
“It’s so dry, the birds are building their nests out of barbed wire” (Texas heat joke) (8/28)
“It’s so dry, the catfish are carrying canteens” (Texas heat joke) (8/28)
“It’s so hot, the hens are laying hard-boiled eggs” (Texas heat joke) (10/6)
“It’s so hot, the trees are whistling for dogs” (heat joke) (8/17)
“It’s the last thing you take off and the first thing that is noticed” (cowboy hat) (3/13)
“Just a two-step back in time” (Coupland Inn and Dancehall) (3/6)
“Just Like You Like It” (Whataburger slogan) (11/26)
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