A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

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“I played in a snooker tournament for the emotionally unstable. I was first to break”
“It was so cold that opticians were giving away ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses”
“It was so cold that pickpockets were sticking hands in strangers’ pockets to keep them warm”
“I’ve reached the age where ‘Happy Hour’ is a nap”
“January is the Monday of the year”
“Intelligence is like wealth. Great to have, but if you go around showing it off…”
“What does a vampire order at a Chinese restaurant?”/“Chow vein.”
“What’s the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?”/“Porcupines have pricks on the outside.”
“Intelligence is like wealth. Great to have, but if you go around showing it off…”
“What do you call a gay milkman?”/“A dairy queen.”
“Corn on the cob is just ribs for vegetarians”
“Somewhere there’s a bottle of Caesar salad dressing with an expiration date of March 15”
“It was so cold that I saw chickens lined up for KFC’s deep fryer”
“Why do all hot dogs look the same?”/“Because they are in bread.”
“It was so cold we had to chop up the piano for firewood, but we only got two chords”
“It was so cold that I enjoyed it when someone spilled hot coffee on my lap”
“My Geography teacher died yesterday. Well, he is History now”
“It was so cold that we didn’t clean the house—we just defrosted it”
“It was so cold that the cops were tasering themselves”
“How do you insult a hamburger patty?”/“Call it a meatball!”
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