A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

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“A group of kids is called a migraine”
“The only thing that matters in wrestling are your teeth and your testicles”
“Have you ever tried blindfolded archery? You don’t know what you’re missing”
“I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock”
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money”
“What do you call a hotel that offers a breakfast of Eggs Benedict?”/“A Hollandaise Inn.”
“Why doesn’t a scarecrow eat?”/“Because he’s already stuffed.”
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something”
“Nothing says ‘I mean business’ like using a shopping cart at the liquor store”
“Do not judge my story by the chapter you walked in on”
“I love telling cheesy jokes, but my friends are laughtose intolerant”
“ATM fees are the bank’s way of making you buy back your own money”
“What do you call a dentist who doesn’t like tea?”/“Denis.”
Grillades
“The difference between a rebellion and a revolution is which side wins”
“I need an appointment.”/“How about 10 tomorrow?”/“No, I don’t need that many.”
“People tell me that my grammar stinks. What do they expect? She’s 85!”
“Mall kiosk workers are the human equivalent of pop-up ads”
“What’s the difference between a tribe of clever pygmies and a girls’ track team?” (riddle)
“The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte”
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