A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

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“Will I be able to play the banjo after surgery?” (joke)
“How was the hamburger murdered?”/“First it was ‘rolled,’ then smothered in onions.”
“I bet acting like assholes on the Internet isn’t where we all thought we’d be”
“What do you get if you stuff your computer’s disk drive with herbs?”/“A thyme machine.”
“Whiskey. Because who in the hell needs feelings”
“Life has its ups and downs. We call them squats”
“What happened to the plant in math class?”/“It grew square roots.”
“Excuses are the rocks where our dreams are crushed”
“Faith can move mountains, but don’t be surprised if God hands you a shovel”
“When a woman puts me in the friend zone, I immediately borrow money from her”
“If a woman puts me in the friend zone, I immediately borrow money from her”
“It bothers me when I see tax money wasted on signs telling deer where to cross the road”
“What did the TV do at the beach?”/“Channel surf.”
“Who is the strongest thief?”/“A shoplifter.”
“I was shopping online and saw a horse that I rather liked. So I clicked ‘Add to cart’”
“I never drive on back roads after smoking marijuana, because it’s not the high way”
“Do you serve fishcakes?” (restaurant joke)
“Nothing is impossible with the right attitude and a hammer”
“What kind of work does a weak cat do?”/“Light mouse work.”
“I always thought growing lettuce would be hard. Turns out it’s not rocket science”
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