A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

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Entry from March 28, 2017
“Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?” (joke)

A popular school joke has been printed on several images:

Student: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Student: Good, because I didn’t do my homework!


The joke has been cited in print since at least 1965, when the conversation was between a father and son. The teacher version has been cited since at least 1970.


25 July 1965, Boston (MA) Globe, “My Favorite Jokes” by Soupy Sales, Parade magazine, pg. 12, col. 2:
An 8-year-old boy asked his father: “Dad, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?”

“Of course not,” said the father.

“Fine,” said the kid. “I didn’t do my homework.”

10 April 1970, San Diego (CA) Union, pg. D-5, col. 5:
Jack: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Jack: That’s good, because I didn’t do my homework.

Google Books
The Gigantic Joke Book
By Joseph Rosenbloom
Illustrations by Joyce Behr
New York, NY: Sterling Publishing Company, Inc.
1978
Pg. 163:
Tommy: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Tommy: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.

Google Books
The Treasury of Clean Jokes
By Tal D. Bonham
Nashville, TN: Broadman Press
1981
Pg. 43:
An eight-year-old boy asked his father: “Dad, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?” “Of course not,” said his father. “Good,” said the kid. “I didn’t do my homework.”

Twitter
Hoooked‏
@Hoooked
Student: Would you punish me for something I didn’t do.
Teacher: No, of course not.
Student: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.
2:04 AM - 13 Apr 2009

Google Books
111 LOL Jokes About School & Wimpy Teachers!:
Jokes, Riddles and Crazy Excuses for Avoiding Homework

By Marcus Stuart, Sir Laughs A. Lot
LOL Kids Books
2016
Pg. ?:
Student: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: Of course not
Student: Great, because I didn’t do my homework!

Posted by Barry Popik
New York CityEducation/Schools • Tuesday, March 28, 2017 • Permalink