A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

Recent entries:
“Futons are the sporks of the furniture world” (10/19)
“A microwave is an easy bake oven for adults” (10/19)
“What do you call a cat that eats lemons?"/"A sourpuss.” (10/19)
“Why was the road afraid of the bike lane?"/"Because it was a cycle path.” (10/19)
“Cheesecake is actually pie” (10/19)
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Entry from July 15, 2007
“If it grows, it will stick you; If it crawls, it will bite you”

"If it grows, it will stick you; if it crawls, it will bite you” has appeared on internet joke lists from the early 2000s. The saying is attributed to the Texas way of life, but the authorship is unknown.


Google Groups: alt.jokes
Newsgroups: alt.jokes, alt.humor
From: “Spammers eat this”
Date: Mon, 17 Sep 2001 06:35:46 -0500
Local: Mon, Sep 17 2001 7:35 am
Subject: Living in Texas

Things I’ve learned living in Texas .
(...)
If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

Google Groups: alt.med.cfs
Newsgroups: alt.med.cfs
From: (PATRICIA C MORTON)
Date: 26 Jun 2002 17:35:13 -0700
Local: Wed, Jun 26 2002 8:35 pm
Subject: Re: HUM: A True Texas

A True Texan

As a true Texan I thought I would share a few of the things I have learned in my years of living in this Heaven on Earth located south of the Red River and north of the Rio Grande.

I can personally attest to the following points as being true:
(...)
If it grows, it’ll stick you.
If it crawls, it’ll bite you. 

Amarillo Globe-News
Web posted Sunday, October 5, 2003
12:00 a.m. CT
Texas: It’s really just a fact of life
By DAN PACKARD
(...)
During their journey, the contestants who survive long enough will learn many facts about Texas and Texans.

They will learn:
(...)
If it grows, it will stick you. If it crawls, it will bite you. 

Google Books
The Vampire Hunters Stalked
by William Hill
Ellen Hill, publisher
2006
Pg. 96:
He sprayed mosquito repellent on himself, recalling an old Texas saying, “If it grows it will stick you, and if it crawls, it will bite you.”

Posted by Barry Popik
Texas (Lone Star State Dictionary) • (0) Comments • Sunday, July 15, 2007 • Permalink