Yom Kippur (the Jewish Day of Atonement) shouldn't be confused with kipper (a fish that is often eaten for breakfast), but there are jokes. "Celebrating this Jewish holiday with a fish…
A dog often wants the sandwich that an owner is eating. The owner might say "no," but the dog often wins the sandwich in the end. "I said 'No' -- Me, about to give my dog a…
"How About You" is often titled from the lyrics that occur before this, "I like New York in June." It's from the movie musical Babes on Broadway (1941) and has music by…
"(I Love to Play Piano) Let Me Bang Your Box" is a 1954 novelty song by The Toppers. Robin Byrd (www.robinbyrd.com) plays the song at the end of her Manhattan cable tv sex show, "The…
"I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today" was spoken by the comic character J. Wellington Wimpy in E. C. Segar's 1930s comic strip "Thimble Theatre," featuring…
"I will give up my gun when they pry my cold, dead fingers from around it" is a bumper sticker slogan supporting gun rights and dating from at least March 1972. "I'll give up my…
The St. Petersburg (FL) Times originated in 2007 a website, Politifact.com, to check political facts. Statements are judged on a "Truth-O-Meter" with grades of True, Mostly True, Half…
"All the tea in China" means a great amount; the Chinese grow and consume large amounts of tea. "Not for all the tea in China" means that someone won't do something, even…
"(When you) Get a hunch, bet a bunch" has been a gambling saying since at least 1937. The saying was also adopted by the racetrack, with this ending: "Get a hunch and bet a bunch --…
Sometimes a person has to get up to use the rest room during a restaurant meal. However, that person can't trust that another at the table won't eat the french fries (or onion rings).…
"Missed a right (turn)" can sound like "Mr. Right." "While I was driving, her: Honey, you missed a right. Me: Thanks babe. You Mrs right" was posted on Reddit --…
"Cage-free eggs" usually means that the eggs rae from birds that may be permitted outdoors. The term does not mean that the eggs are free from being kept in cages, but there is a joke.…
Sometimes a person has to get up to use the rest room during a restaurant meal. However, that person can't trust that another at the table won't eat the french fries (or onion rings).…
The purpose of "wine tasting" is not to identify or verify if something tastes like wine, but that's a standard joke. "Tasting wine...at a wine tasting...tastes like wine"…
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." "[X] walks into a bar...and lowers it" is a popular form of the joke, where…
Many people enjoy coffee, even if it's burning hot. This was posted on X/Twitter by SmashFilm on January 5, 2015: "*Burns tongue* *Burns throat* *Burns esophagus* mmm coffee...."…
"*drinks water with lemon* This is going to fix everything" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The lemon slice/wedge that is added to water in some restaurants does…
"*gently puts my mental health in rice*" is a saying that has been printed on many images. A phone that fell into the toilet can possibly be revived after being put in uncooked rice, but…
Celery, to many people, tastes like water with strings in it. "*Inventing celery* Damn I wish I could bite water with hair in it" was posted on Twitter by Knives McGee on December 6,…
Who needs perfume? "Seductively dabs Cheeto's dust behind my ears while making eye contact" was posted on X/Twitter by Kayton Kimberly on September 17, 2017. "*seductively dabs…