A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

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Entry from March 02, 2016
“Why is milk so fast?"/"Because it’s pasteurized before you see it.”

"Pasteurize” sound likes “past your eyes,” prompting the pun:

Q: Why is milk so fast?
A: Because it’s pasteurized before you can see it.


The joke was cited in a riddle book in 1998.


Google Books
Best Riddle Book Ever
By Charles Keller
Illustrated by Jeff Sinclair
New York, NY: Sterling Publishing Company, Inc.
1998
Pg. 24:
What’s the fastest thing in the world?
Milk-it’s pasteurized before you see it.

5 May 2004, The Advocate (Stamford, CT), “Mousse for mom” by Kim Upton, pg. C1, col. 2:
What is the fastest thing in the world?

Whipping cream. It’s pasteurized before you see it.

Twitter
Ben Ward
‏@crouchingbadger
@webmunkii pasteurized before you see it. No? Never mind. #dadjoke
11:03 AM - 15 Apr 2010

Twitter
TheStoreCafe
‏@TheStoreCafe
#North Adelaide What is the fastest thing on earth?  Milk because it is pasteurized before you see it! Join us now at 157 Melbourne Street
9:29 PM - 1 May 2010

Twitter
Hobby Pirate Fighter
‏@lukeii
@eglantinescake haha! So when she’s older tell her that milk is faster because it’s pasteurized before you can see it! (past your eyes) :p
3:12 AM - 24 Jul 2010

Google Groups: alt.usage.english
Robinson: scone
CT
10/5/10
John Dean wrote:
> Indeed (says expat Manc) - to do otherwise would be to negate the
> second best cake joke in BrE:
>
> “What’s the fastest cake? ... s-s-s-s-scone!”

And what’s the fastst drink?
Milk.  It’s pasteurized before you see it.

Twitter
Scott
‏@PixieScott_93
Why is milk fast?  Because its pasteurized before you see it.
1:59 PM - 4 Dec 2011

Google Books
Dad Jokes
By Peter Crumpton
PeteyRF Creative
2015
Pg. ?:
Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth
its pasteurized before you even see it.

reddit
Why is milk so fast? (self.Jokes)
submitted September 26, 2015 by FyreNinja
Because it’s pasteurized before you see it!

Posted by Barry Popik
New York CityFood/Drink • Wednesday, March 02, 2016 • Permalink