A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

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Entry from December 05, 2007
“What’s the fastest way to the hospital?"/"Just say something bad about Texas!” (joke)

Don’t say something bad about Texas to a Texan. There’s a joke that this is “the fastest way to get to the hospital.”


30 June 1954, Mexia (TX) Daily News, “The Way It Seems to Me” by Ernie Deane, pg. 1, col. 1:
OUT IN Hollywood—where else?—a Texas oil man faces charges of wounding a movie stuntman because he didn’t like what the stuntman said about Texas.

Readers should mark well the point that the Texas oil man did not get into a shooting mood because of what the Californian said about California—though this is usually maddening in itself.

He got his dander up because the Californian said something bad about Texas—and so gunplay resulted.

From this vantage point here in the sunny climes of Central Texas, it seems to me the Texas oil man was entirely justified. Unfortunately for him, however, the incident occurred in California, so it’s liable to go hard with him.

Google Books
Nothing Lasts Forever
by Sidney Sheldon
New York, NY: William Morrow
1994
Pg. 136:
“In Houston, a man stopped a pedestrian and asked, ‘What’s the quickest way to the hospital?’ “‘Say something bad about Texas.’ “

Google Groups: rec.humor
Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: (Ed Boress)
Date: 1995/06/29
Subject: ABOUT TEXAS

In Dallas, a man stopped a pedestrian and asked, “What is the quickest way to the hospital?”

The pedestrian replied, “Just say something bad about Texas.”

Posted by Barry Popik
Texas (Lone Star State Dictionary) • (0) Comments • Wednesday, December 05, 2007 • Permalink