A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

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“I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake” (3/26)
Entry forthcoming—B.P. (3/26)
“If you are not coffee, chocolate, or bacon, I’m going to need you to go away” (3/26)
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Entry from February 20, 2016
“What can a goose do, a duck can’t, and a lawyer should?” (lawyer joke)

One popular lawyer joke about a lawyer’s bill is:

Q: What can a goose do, a duck can’t, and a lawyer should?
A: Stick his bill up his ass.


The joke has been cited in print since at least 1987.


Google Books
The Ultimate Lawyers Joke Book
By Larry Wilde
New York, NY: Bantam Books
1987
Pg. 159:
What is it a swan can do easily, a duck can do with little effort, and an attorney should definitely do? Stick his bill up his ass.

Google Groups: rec.humor
Lawyer Jokes Needed! 
Robert C. Whitehead
8/7/90
(...)
Q: What can a goose do, a duck can’t, and a lawyer should?
A: Stick his bill up his ass.

Google Groups: rec.humor
Lawyer Jokes
Ricki Dulin
10/7/92
(...)
Q:  What can a goose do, a duck can’t, and a lawyer should?
A:  Stick his bill up his ass.

Google Groups: rec.humor
The Cannonical Collection of Lawyer Jokes
Stephen C. Woods
11/11/93
(...)
Q: What can a goose do, a duck can’t, and a lawyer should?
A: Stick his bill up his ass.

Google Books
The Joke’s On… Lawyers
By Stan D. Ross
Sydney; The Federation Press
1996
Pg. 34:
Q: What can a goose do, a duck can’t, and a lawyer should?
A: Stick his bill up his ass.

Google Books
The Lawyer’s Joke Book:
There Are Some Things a Rat Just Won’t Do

By John Patrick Dolan and Dale Irvin
Charleston, SC: Advantage Media Group
2008
Pg. 37:
What can a goose do, a duck can’t, and a lawyer should?
Stick his bill up his ass.

Google Books
The World’s Funniest Lawyer Jokes:
A Caseload of Jurisprudential Jest

By Steven D. Price
New York, NY: Skyhorse Publishing
2011
Pg. 108:
Q: What can a goose do, a duck can’t, and a lawyer should?
A: Stick his bill up his ass.

Twitter
Bob Kostic
‏@causticbob
Q: What can a goose do, a duck can’t, and a lawyer should?
A: Stick his bill up his ass.
3:27 PM - 7 Nov 2015

Posted by Barry Popik
New York CityGovernment/Law/Politics/Military • Saturday, February 20, 2016 • Permalink