Dr. Clark Kerr (1911-2003), the president of the University of California, told the new president of the University of Washington, as reported in a newspaper on November 19, 1958:
“"There are three main administrative problems in connection with running a university: sex for the students, athletics for the alumni and parking for the faculty.”
The list of three university priorities has been frequently quoted. “Athletics” is often replaced with “sports” or “football.” Wikipedia states that this remark was made in connection with “The Uses of the University” (1963), a Godwin lecture at Harvard University, but Kerr gave this lecture five years later.
Wikipedia: Clark Kerr
Clark Kerr (May 17, 1911 – December 1, 2003) was an American professor of economics and academic administrator. He was the first chancellor of the University of California, Berkeley, and twelfth president of the University of California.
Another legacy was his wit—after writing a serious book “The Uses of the University”, Kerr surprised an audience with this riposte--"The three purposes of the University?--To provide sex for the students, sports for the alumni, and parking for the faculty.”
19 November 1958, Chilliwack (British Columbia) Progress, “Barber Shop Talk” by L. E. B., pg. 2, col. 5:
As the president of the University of California told the new president of the University of Washington: “There are three main administrative problems in connection with running a university: sex for the students, athletics for the alumni and parking for the faculty.”
4 December 1958, San Diego (CA) Union, Jack Murphy (sports editor) column, pg. A28, col. 1:
In the event you missed it, Dr. Clark Kerr, president of the University of California says the principal problems faced by a college administrator are: (1) sex for the students, (2) athletics for the alumni and (3) parking for the faculty.
20 July 1959, Grand Prairie (TX) Daily News-Texan, “Prairie Scope” by Guy Graves, pg. 1, col. 1:
DR. J. R. WOOLF, president of Arlington State College and Texas’ youngest college president, says he is assured of success in his new job if he can deliver these three essentials: Plenty of social life for the students; plenty of parking space for the faculty; and a winning football team for the alumni.
1 September 1959, Hammond (IN) Times, “Questions and Answers,” pg. B-6, col. 1:
Q. What college president said parking for the faculty was one of major problems? N. S.
A. In the inaugural ceremonies for the University of Washington’s new president in November 1958 speaker Clark Kerr, president of the University of California, was quoted as saying “I find that the three major administrative problems on a campus are sex for the students, athletics for the alumni, and parking for the faculty.”
1 October 1959, Harper’s Magazine, “On Wisconsin!” by David Boroff, pg. 36:
A recent satiric skit has the president saying: “I spend 90 per cent of my time regulating the sex life of students, football for the alumni, and parking for the faculty.”
10 November 1962, New Pittsburgh Courier (Pittsburgh, PA), “Odd Men” by Max Lerner, pg. 11:
For Secretary of State; Clark Kerr, Chancellor of the University of California, on the theory that anyone who can get along with alumni, students and faculty on a big campus ("football for the alumni, sex for the students, parking for the faculty” is Kerr’s reported formula) ought to be able to run American foreign policy.
Winter 1963, Phi Kappa Phi Journal, “The Academic Eco-System” by Gerald W. Thomas, pg. 35:
We might begin by considering the major components of the system as faculty, students, and alumni. In this case, we could classify our problems based upon these components. One college president did this recently when he states, “All of my problems center around three major items—parking for the faculty, football for the alumni, and sex for the students.”
24 November 1966, The Evening Star (Washington, DC), “Washington Close-up: Death on a Saturday Afternoon” by WIlliam Hines, pg. A-20, col. 4:
“They (big universities—ed.) offer three things,” he ("one educator”—ed.) said, “football for the alumni, sex for the students, and parking for the faculty.” THis came from a serious man, and the wisecrack aspect of it does not disguise a deep, underlying concern.
10 September 1975, Los Angeles (CA) Times, “Newsmakers,” pt. 1 pg. 2, col. 1:
“It’s popularly believed,” said President John Bunzel of San Jose State University, “that the president’s job is to provide sex for students, football for alumni and parking for faculty. I can’t do all that,” he confessed, “but this is a start” to settle another thirst.
@stringsays old joke about university presidents: job is to provide 3 things. Parking for faculty, football for alumni, & sex for students
2:42 PM - 3 Oct 2016