A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

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Entry from May 11, 2016
“Two people lectured me on brown bread. I think they’re Hovis witnesses”

Hovis is a British bread company. There’s a joke that puns “Hovis” with “Jehovah” (of Jehovah’s Witnesses):

“Two women knocked at my door and started preaching to me about the virtues of brown bread. I think they were Hovis Witnesses.”

The “Hovis Witnesses” joke has been cited in print since at least 2006.


Wikipedia: Hovis
Hovis Ltd is a British company that produces flour and bread. The brand originated in Macclesfield, Cheshire, in 1886, and became part of Rank Hovis McDougall (RHM) in 1962 after a succession of mergers. RHM, with its brands including Hovis and Mother’s Pride, was acquired by Premier Foods in 2007.

Hovis became a limited company in April 2014, after Premier Foods sold a 51% stake in the business to The Gores Group to form a joint venture between the two companies.

Hovis specialises in high wheatgerm wholemeal flour, the bread being baked independently. It also produces the Nimble brand reduced-calorie bread.

Google Groups: argonet.zfc
Dawkins on TV
VinceH
1/24/06
(...)
[2] Perhaps The Hovis Witnesses[3] got it right, and your god is actually a loaf of bread.

flickr
Smallbrainfield
The Hovis Witnesses
Uploaded on March 8, 2007

Morrissey-solo Forums
Let’s Have Some Jokes
Grim O’Grady
March 19, 2008, 07:43 PM
2 women came knockin on the door earlier & asked me whatbread I eat?
I told ‘em warbies toastie loaf!
they then lectured me on the evils of white bread & told me about the wholesome goodness of brown bread!

Don’tcha justhate them Hovis Witnesses?

Google Groups: uk.people.support.depression
OT: Made me giggle
Sasquatch
4/3/08
I was watching my favourite TV show when two women rang the door bell.  When I answered the door they asked me what kind of bread I ate “White” I said.  I then had 45 minutes of lecturing on how brown bread was much better for me etc.  Flamin Hovis Witnesses

Twitter
Pete Battersby
‏@PeteBatts
Just had a couple of people at the door talking about how great brown bread is...Bloody Hovis Witnesses…
7:31 PM - 17 Feb 2009

Twitter
Niall Brennan
‏@ShowbizKid
He stood at my door & proceeded to talk about how brown bread was better than white.
Bloody Hovis witnesses!
7:41 PM - 4 Mar 2009

Twitter
Skippy
‏@SkippyUK
2 women came round and asked what bread I ate?When I said white; they lectured me on the benefit of brown for 30mins.Ruddy Hovis witnesses
5:17 AM - 5 Mar 2009

Google Books
The Mammoth Book of One-Liners
By Geoff Tibballs
London: Constable & Robinson Ltd
2012
Pg. ?:
Two women knocked at my door and started preaching to me about the virtues of brown bread. I think they were Hovis Witnesses.

Google Books
Bob and Brenda’s New Joke Book
By Paul Gwilliam
Lulu Press, Inc. (Lulu.com)
2013
Pg. ?:
Two old ladies knocked on my door, selling the bible and brown bread, they were Hovis witnesses!

Posted by Barry Popik
New York CityFood/Drink • Wednesday, May 11, 2016 • Permalink