A popular pun involves a dentist and a hollandaise-loving patient who needs a new dental plate. The dentist recommends a chrome plate. Or it involves a diner who tells a waitress that he wants his Eggs Benedict served on hubcaps. The punchline is the same—“There’s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise,” a pun on the 1954 song title, “There’s No Place Like) Home for the Holidays.”
The pun has been cited in print since at least 1977.
Wikipedia: Home for the Holidays (song)
“(There’s No Place Like) Home for the Holidays” is a popular song, commonly associated with the Christmas and holiday season.
The music was composed by Robert Allen, while the lyrics were written by Al Stillman. The song was published in 1954.
The best-known recordings were made by Perry Como, who recorded the song twice. The first recording, done on November 16, 1954, was released as a single for Christmas, 1954, by RCA (catalog number 20-5950-B on 78rpm and 47-5950-B on 45rpm).
30 November 1977, Seattle (WA) Times, “A monumental gift for history” by Walt Evans, pg. A10, col. 1:
Shirley Collins at Sur La Tableis playing word games again. Shirley passes on the information that many sauces can be affected by the type of dish in which they’re served, especially if the dish is metal. She explains: “There’s no plates like chrome for the Hollandaise”...
24 April 1982, Lethbridge (Alberta) Herald, pg. 1, col. 1:
Jack Patey getting groans and laughs with the one about telling a patient, whose teeth rotted from excessive use of hollandaise sauce, he’d have to have them pulled and replaced with a chrome plate because “There’s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.”
12 July 1983, Morning Advocate (Baton Rouge, LA), “Smiley Anders’ Baton Rouge,” pg. 1B, col. 1:
ROLAND STRIKES AGAIN: Roland Daigre tells of the gent who discovered his passion for Hollandaise sauce was damaging his upper plate. His dentist said he would have to make him a new one. “This time we’ll make it out of chrome,” said the dentist. “Chrome? Why chrome?” the patient asked. “Because,” explained the dentist, “there’s no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise.”
18 December 1991, Austin (TX) American-Statesman, “Potluck,” pg. E1:
HOLIDAY GROANER: With apologies, we offer this tale - courtesy of The New York Times News Service - which you might want to memorize to tell at stuffy holiday gatherings:
“With that time of year approaching, I am reminded of a futile and frustrating shopping trip. I was looking for a special, chrome-plated dinnerware for a place setting. Store after store turned me away. They offered pewter, silver, gold, fine china . . . but no chrome.
“Finally, after being offered something that looked like a hubcap, I explained in exasperation, `No, it won’t do. I need these to serve asparagus and everybody knows there’s no plates like chrome for the hollandaise.’
Google Groups: alt.humor.puns
Sauce for the goose
This young newlywed was about to cook her first christmas dinner. Goose with hollandaise sauce. But she did not have a gravy boat for the sauce. A trip home solved that; she borrowed her mom’s.
As she was leaving she expressed concern that the metal gravy boat might cause the sauce to curdle.
Her mom replied: “ Don’t worry dear, there is no place like chrome for the hollandaise.”
Google Groups: alt.shoe.lesbians
A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, “that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?” The man replies, “all I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious...Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything ---meat, toast, fish, vegetables, everything.” “Well,” says the dentist, “that’s probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It’s eaten away your upper plate. I’ll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome.” “Why chrome?” asks the patient. To which the dentist replies, “It’s simple. Everyone knows that there’s no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!”
Google Groups: rec.food.cooking
Eggs Benedict on Thanksgiving
A man walked into a restaurant on Thanksgiving morning and ordered Eggs Benedict. After a while, the waiter came out with the eggs, but they were on a very elegant, shining metal platter.
“What’s this all about?” the man asked. “I didn’t expect anything so fancy.”
“Well,” said the waiter, “You know the old saying: There’s no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise.”
The Reader’s Digest
During a routine checkup, a dentist asked his patient if he had been eating any different foods lately. The man replied that, yes, his wife had learned to make a wonderful hollandaise sauce, and that he’d been eating it on just about everything.
“Well,” the dentist said, “I think the acidity in the sauce’s lemon juice is eroding your denture plate. I’ll make you a new one, but this time I’ll make it out of chrome.”
“Chrome?” the patient asked. “Why chrome?”
“Because,” the dentist replied, “everyone knows there is no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.” — Contributed by Bob Johnston