A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006.

Recent entries:
Entry forthcoming—B.P. (10/17)
“How do you stop a dog from barking in the back yard?"/"Put it in the front yard.” (10/17)
“What do you call a nightmare about paper?"/"A bad ream.” (10/17)
Entry forthcoming—B.P. (10/17)
“Why did the dog cross the road?"/"To get to the barking lot.” (10/17)
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Entry from July 06, 2008
“Texas: Come for the adventure, stay for your wrongful execution”

"Texas: Come for the adventure, stay for your wrongful execution” is one of several politically incorrect state slogans sold by the Jerkass Clothing Company. The slogan has not been cited on many websites.


Jerkass Clothing Co.
TEXAS
Come for the adventure… Stay for your wrongful execution.

The Ministry of Minor Perfidy
Thursday, April 26, 2007
I messed with Texas, and now I have a rash
We’re moving into the home stretch here on Perfidy’s longest running series, alternative state slogans for alternate state people.  Today, we focus on Texas, a state that has, historically, been foremost in the republic for arrogance and misplaced judgments of its own competence.  Twice since independence Texas has not been part of the United States, a fact that is not well appreciated in light of Texans vehement protestations of patriotism.  Anyway, on to the ridicule and fun-poking:

I messed with Texas, and now I have a rash
If it’s good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for Texas
Because Sometimes You Make Bad Choices
Se Habla Ingles
We Kill ‘em So YOU Don’t Have To
95% More Texasness Than The Next Leading State
Crazy ‘Bout Guns!
Where everything’s bigger, except the IQ’s
Mess with Texas, and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick you to death
All the oil, without all the burkhas
49 of 50 states agree, Texas Sucks
Why?
More episodes of Cops filmed on location here than anywhere
Prone To Flooding
We kill because we’re frightened little girls
Have Fun Driving Through Us On Your Way To Nowhere!
We gave you nuculer
You Grill ‘Em, We’ll Kill ‘Em
If we secede again, you’re all in deep crap.
The Beefstick State
I can see for miles and miles and miles and miles
An execution a day keeps the prisons relatively empty
The Manhandle State
Swim to freedom!
The unconditionally affirmative frontier
Most, but by no means all, things are bigger in Texas
Better Behave, or We’ll Fry Your Ass
Because You Can Never Have Enough Churches
Come for the oppressive heat, stay for the flat dusty sameness
Texas, Schmexas
We Live to Annoy the Rest of the Country.
Enjoy Leaving!
More Mexico
Friendship, Except When Betrayed or Approached By Strangers
The Key To A Door You Don’t Want To Open
Yes, it is bigger.  You’ll have to step back though.
Everything Is Brown Here
Twice as loud, half as popular
We put the “Ex” in “execution”!
Texas: Your last, best defense against education.
The Dumbo State
Our state tree is the gallows.
We Let America See Our Bush!
The Great Horney Toad State
That chili’s not hot, you’re just a pussy
Don’t blame me, I voted Kinky
Steers and Queers
Y’all can go to hell.  I’m goin to Texas.  Damn, same thing.
Tuck Fexas
Welcome Wetbacks and Yankees!
The Criminal’s Lethal Injection Connection
The Big Freakin’ Hat State
More Crime Than You’d Think
Things look smaller in Texas
Poker? I don’t even know her
Texas: Come for the Adventure, Stay for your wrongful execution
Birthplace of the meanest president in US History.
Rodeo: a way for nominally straight Texans to dress in leather chaps and wrestle with animals
Wetbacks R Us
Of course we’re loners, who likes a loner?
It’s like a whole other planet
Gateway to Texas
New Jersey thanks God they’re not us
Our teenagers are the cutest!  Did I say that out loud?
Still proud of defeating Mexico
Oil, leather, cows, mustaches—it’s not what you think

Posted by Barry Popik
Texas (Lone Star State Dictionary) • (0) Comments • Sunday, July 06, 2008 • Permalink