“Opinions are like assholes—everybody’s got one”
“Opinions are like assholes—everybody’s got one” is an expressive way of saying that everyone has an opinion. “Opinions” is often replaced with the word “excuses,” and “assholes” is often replaced with “rear ends,” “noses,” or “belly buttons.”
The “like noses—everybody’s got one” line has been cited in print since at least 1912-1913. The “opinions” version has been cited in print since at least 1969: “Opinions are like people’s anatomy. Everybody’s got one.”
“Opinions are like orgasms—mine matters most, and I don’t care if you have one” is a similar saying.
Google Books
Past and present of Wyandot County, Ohio;
A record of settlement, organization, progress and achievement
Edited by Abraham J. Baughman
Chicago, IL: Clarke Pub. Co.
1913
Pg. 388:
“We’ve got one at home,” whereupon Adam remarked to some by-standers, “That’s the way it is, now ‘em nare, washing machines are like noses — everybody’s got one.”
8 March 1913, Atlanta (GA) Constitution, “Wringers not like Webster’s dictionaries,” pg. 10:
“Wringers are like noses.” Upon his employer asking him for an explanation, he spoke briefly, saying: “Everybody has one.”
28 June 1928, Chicago (IL) Daily Tribune, pg. 2:
SLOGANS ARE LIKE BADGES AT HOUSTON; EVERYBODY HAS ONE
Google News Archive
21 October 1969, Milwaukee (WI) Sentinel, “Coakley, Pitts Clash at Parley” by Kenneth R. Lamke, pt. 1, pg. 5, col. 3:
“Opinions are like people’s anatomy. Everybody’s got one,” Pitts said.
Google Books
Foul!:
The Connie Hawkins story
By Dave Wolf
New York, NY: Warner Paperback Library
1972
Pg. 337:
Hawkins was less than mortified by Elvin’s put-down. “Opinions are like assholes,” he told reporters. “Everybody’s got one.”
Google News Archive
12 March 1972, Palm Beach (FL) Post, “Letters to the Editor,” pg. D3, col. 2:
When voters read editorials, they must realize it is only one man’s opinion, just as mine are in the recommendations above. Opinions are like noses, everyone has one—one being no more important than the other.
ALVA H. BAILEY
West Palm Beach
17 September 1973, Chicago (IL) Tribune, “Butkus didn’t play as if on last leg” by Don Pierson, pg. C1:
“Hot tips are like rear ends; everybody has one.”
Google Books
Encyclopedia of Graffiti
By Robert George Reisner and Lorraine Wechsler
New York, NY: Macmillan
1974
Pg. 270:
Excuses are like assholes — everybody’s got one! (Engineering Society of Detroit, 1971)
Google Books
The Circuit
By Ralph M. Demers
New York, NY: Viking Press
1976
Pg. 7:
“Opinions are like assholes, Mariano,” Wick said. “Everybody has one.”
Google Books
Falconer
By John Cheever
New York, NY: Knopf
1977
Pg. 66:
“Opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one and they all smell.”
Google News Archive
1 July 1977, Luddington (MI) Daily News, “Tiger’s Biggest Need ISN’T A New Manager” by Richard L. Shook, pg. 6, col. 4:
Managers are like brains: everybody’s got one and theirs is the best.
Google News Archive
22 March 1979, Palm Beach (FL) Post, pg. C1, cols. 1-2:
Steve Mitchell
Opinions Are Like Navels—Everybody Has One
(...)
In writing, we have something called quotes. Quotes consist of statements by people, government spokesmen or whatever. They are intended to convey the opinion of the speaker and opinions are like navels in that everybody has one.
Google News Archive
7 April 1979, Anchorage (AK) Daily News, “Looking for your opinions,” pg. E2, col. 1:
Opinions really are like parts of the anatomy. As the man said, everybody’s got one.
Not everybody has one worth showing around in public, though, and therein lies the difference.
Google News Archive
3 May 1979, Palm Beach (FL) Post-Times Shopping Bee, pg. N10, col. 1:
Steve Mitchell
Opinions Like Navels:
Everybody Has One
15 October 1980, Los Angeles (CA) Times, “So Help Me” by John Hall, pg. F3:
Lasorda says it this way: “Everybody has an opinion and a nose”
(...)
Reggie Jackson says it: “Opinions are like noses. Everybody has one.”
14 September 1984, Chicago (IL) Tribune, “Sutcliffe will rain on Mets” by Fred Mitchell, pg. D1:
“Excuses are like rear ends. Everybody’s got one,” Sutcliffe said, shooting from the hip as always.
Google Groups: net.general
Newsgroups: net.general
From: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) (Joe Carfagno)
Date: Tue, 8-Jan-85 21:35:02 EST
Local: Tues, Jan 8 1985 9:35 pm
Subject: Re: hackers, etc.
Another twisted view, but then, opinions are like belly-buttons (substitute your favorite orifice here), everybody’s got one…
Google Groups: net.abortion
Newsgroups: net.abortion
From: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) (Charles Forsythe)
Date: Sun, 18-Aug-85 02:35:21 EDT
Local: Sun, Aug 18 1985 1:35 am
Subject: The World According to Ray (and God)
Opinions are like assholes: everybody has one, but nobody want’s to see the other guy’s. I like to hear arguments and points. I’m sure everybody here reads this group to hear conflicting arguments and points. Having stated that you do not wish to hear anything contrary to what you believe, “pull up your pants” and shut up.
[FLAME OFF]
Internet Movie Database
Memorable quotes for
Platoon (1986)
Sgt. O’Neill: Excuses are like assholes, Taylor. Everybody’s got one!
Stop The ACLU
Everybody’s got one
Posted by Roger E. Skoff on August 27, 2010 2:10 pm
You know the old saying that “Opinions are like noses; everybody’s got one.” Well, not those words, exactly, but you get the idea. In any case, it’s true, and it’s a real problem.