American comedian Phyllis Diller is credited with a popular Thanksgiving line:
 
“My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.”
 
The Japanese military attack on Pearl Harbor in Hawaii on December 7, 1941 was an infamous disaster.  The Diller quote has been cited in print since at least 2002, but she probably used it much earlier.
 
“My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow” is a similar line from American comedian Rita Rudner.
   
 
Wikipedia: Phyllis Duller
Phyllis Ada Driver (July 17, 1917 – August 20, 2012), better known as Phyllis Diller, was an American stand-up comedian, actress and voice artist, best known for her eccentric stage persona, her self-deprecating humor, her wild hair and clothes, and her exaggerated, cackling laugh.
 
Google Groups: alt.quotations
HB Phyllis Diller 17 July 1917
The Sanity Inspector
7/17/02
Like wow, Scooby, look what Graham J Weeks
 

just wrote!
>Poverty is hereditary - you get it from your children Phyllis Diller
>
>My photographs don’t do me justice -they just look like me ~Phyllis
>Diller.
>
>Don’t go to bed mad…stay up and fight!—Phyllis Diller
 
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
—ibid
 
Google Groups: alt.quotations
Happy Thanksgiving; and no leftovers, please
Grace McGarvie
11/28/02
THANKSGIVING
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare.  They are consumed in twelve minutes.  This is not a coincidence.  Erma Bombeck
 
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.  Phyllis Diller
 
Google Books
The Red Hat Society Cookbook
By The Red Hat Society
Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, Inc.
2006
Pg. 78:
“My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.” —Phyllis Diller
 
Google Books
Making Memories:
Recipes, Cooking Lessons, and Stories from a Home Economics Teacher
By Verna Craig Shelton
Bloomington, IN: iUniverse
2012
Pg. 107:
“My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. ”— Phyllis Diller
 
Google Books
Readers Digest Funny Family Jokes:
Something for Everyone from Age 9 to 99
By Editors at Reader’s Digest
New York, NY: Simon & Schuster
2015
Pg. ?:
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - PHYLLIS DILLER
 
Twitter
Dr. Gail Saltz
‏@DrGailSaltz
“My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.” (Phyllis Diller) #quotes
3:00 PM - 23 Nov 2016